Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
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Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
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Comments (208)
rinnychan 2
Your FML is that you bit a cigarette? Seriously??
Curtieeeez 0
Like #29 said, YDI for smoking.
gefanit 0
#124 You're the kind of person who if you SEE someone smoke you start to cough real high and roll your eyes. Seem it too many times. Im not a smoker. Standing close to someone who smokes. doesnt bother me that much thinkig its not like the guy have problem enough already. But then of course there is this other douchbag beind me, even further from the smoke who starts to fake cough and goes like "COUGH COUGH! EXCUUUSE ME I LIVE IN THIS PLANET TOO COUGH COUGH". And btw the South Park episode "Butt Out" deal with this problem in a hilarious way, you all should see it. http://www.southparkstudios.com/ On topic. FYL for sure smoking and eating fast food.
AntiChrist7 0
is your car a snack bar? YDI, hope you crash someday.
timmytimmeh 0
#8 you're lame
i_imagine 0
That's disgusting. YDI just because of the fact that you smoke in the car... AND eat while smoking.
acro_actress95 0
LOL were you smoking a fry while you were eating your cigarette?
FKO 0
Seves you right for smoking, you idiot
DankJemo 0
Next time try putting ketchup on it, ketchup makes everything taste better.
Melsy187 3
LOL HAHAHAHAHA. You made me LOL majorly. Ever light up the wrong end of a cigarette? Horrible taste horrible...