Anonymous
United States
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
andy
Long Beach, United States
Knowledge is power
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
baby names
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
lawdy
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
anotherfmladdict
Muscatine, United States
Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Dor51
Tacoma, United States
Cool rapper name
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
noway
Cholet, France
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
-___-
Stockholm, Sweden
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
BlackRavenWings
United States
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Top comments
desireev 18
What is wrong with parents nowadays?! Do they hate their kids? There was a mother who was on the news because she named her child "Facebook Me Soon".. WTF?!?!
ihasbrains 10
Heard people would name their kids things like Sparta so that they could introduce them like this: 'THIS, IS, SPARTA!' Gotta admit, it's kind of funny.
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Comments (428)
onlyoncamera 0
Umm my name is Twinkie…
skyeyez9 25
My daughter will thank me one day for giving her a normal name, Emily.
JRockk 2
how about this, this kid at my middle school was ********. pronounced shi-thead. yeah imagine the look on the substitute's faces and they would say his last name and he would pronounce it for them lol
skyeyez9 25
If parents like a ******* stupid name, they should change their own name to: Twinkie, Stinky ****, Smega, Dweezil or whatever they like. Don't give your child that horrid name.
flirtyfaery 7
Am I the only one who thinks it's just a name for the baby until it is born? Friends of mine have called their unborn babies Bubble, Jellybean, Peanut, Bump etc. Before my son was born we nicknamed him Cleatus the Fetus. Of course they've all been given " normal" names once they were born.
DrMaverickRanger 4
Do you still ever call your baba Cleatus? Cos I nicknamed my boy Bean in utero, and I spoke to him so much, that it just feels weird calling him Max now, so he is Bean / Beano / Beanie / Beanus to everyone now!
livvie1999 0
My mother is a doctor and a women there ned her child Bumble Bee Jones
capnbzarr 43
Kinda sucks for you; sucks a million times worse for the kid.
lemonkittens 8
I would've laughed too...
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha at least it's not Twilight. That's how I first read the FML lol.
hateevryone 15
i feel sorry for the unborn child. just imagine the humiliation she has to endure growing up because of that stupid name.