Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. It’s been 3 hours since I’ve been home and my husband won’t stop referring to me as "cheddar puss". FML
Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and confided in my mom, after being told I would have trouble having kids. Five minutes later, I hear the whole family laughing about it downstairs. FML
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Top comments
ksktwin84 14
Show them a medical dictionary...with pictures
olpally 33
They really need to leave the ridiculous baby names for the celebrities. **** both your lives, hard. :( stupid parents. Those people are jerks also. :/
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Comments (165)
ksktwin84 14
Show them a medical dictionary...with pictures
primadonna9396 16
I think the worst part is that we live in the information age. I just google image'd 'candida' and got about 30 pages worth of infected scrotums. DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILD
ptoka 20
Is her middle name to be "albicans"?
happyfingers 15
I was tempted to google it but figured I'd check the comments first since someone else probably already googled it and might've said something... Thanks for the warning. Now to see if I can get my boyfriend to look it up instead! :D lol Also, HOLY CRAP, I'm 69! 8D
NeatNit 33
I get how candida is bad, but what's wrong with Dorothy? It's a perfectly normal name and it doesn't even sound that old.
TheCanucklehead 22
Now I don't want to be rude or anything, but these parents are just asking to be hit. There hasn't been a baby name this bad since the time Mr. West named his kid North, or when the Egyptian called his kid Facebook. Next thing you know, you'll have a whole generation of kids with punny names relating to sex, Internet and weird fungus'.
Lasagnaa 24
People give their children the weirdest names. There's a girl in my class named Lukenia pronounced like leukemia but with an "n" instead of a "m"
siggy_mcsigx 22
#79 Fungi :)
zach205 24
The n instead of an m on a name reminds me of from family feud, the contestant named Punkin
kittykat1501 31
78 it's because of the wizard of oz, probably
olpally 33
They really need to leave the ridiculous baby names for the celebrities. **** both your lives, hard. :( stupid parents. Those people are jerks also. :/
NoMore_CoolNames 14
I actually like some of the celebrity baby names people consider stupid. I don't understand why they would catch over a name like North or Ace... then again I'm a very weird person.
Flowtastic 16
How exactly is Dorothy a ridiculous baby name? It's a perfectly normal name that's been around for centuries...
Zimmington 21
49- She probably meant the Wizard of Oz jokes.
primadonna9396 16
I see nothing wrong with Dorothy except the aforementioned Wizard of Oz bullshit (seriously, OP if you're reading this I'm curious to know if you constantly have every idiot you meet say "we're not in Kansas anymore" and guffaw like they're the first ones to think of it). Candida, though? That's like an urban legend come to life. I'd honestly rather be called Jermajesty.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Speaking of shitty names.....kanye west and his baby North West
ShyAnn29 15
She could always go by Candi.
Nyx_fml 23
You never know. Maybe "Candida" will become the trend name by then. Oh, who am I kidding... she's gonna catch shit. :/
Zimmington 21
Let's just hope she doesn't catch a yeast infection also
jerryj 27
58, already starting and she's not even born yet! F her L
castleofg1ass 19
People are assholes, just hope she gets a more 'normal' middle name she can go by, or at least give her a more bearable nick name :)
KeXu 6
like Candy :)
graceinsheepwear 34
Like Albi
ElizabethNL93 20
I was also thinking Candy. I know it's a stretch, but I would even prefer Cindy or something like that. Hell, even something like Dia. ANYTHING! OP, show your parents how the FML community has responded, maybe then they could at least begin to see the error in their way of thinking.
jordynsage 17
I'm glad you looked it up, so I didn't have to see the horror.
ShyAnn29 15
She could also make it unique by spelling it Candi.
mansen 15
Dida, that was a common shortening for ones I knew.
zeldagirl77 7
You don't need friends!! *forever alone*
zen1979 16
That's right girl, people suck. Lol :)
Joedbag 8
Stop telling people that your mom is pregnant, and start telling them she has a yeast infection. Right in front of her...
LukeE45 10
at least they didn't name her apple or siri!
ksktwin84 14
I'm sorry but Apple and Siri are definitely preferable to being named for a yeast infection
Black_Cat_13 7
"Candida" is actually a genus of yeasts, not specifically a yeast infection.
Clioo_fml 17
It's still fungus, #36...
TheBrochure 22
#45 - While that is true, #36 also has something true, as one with Candida Syndrome is prone to easily developing a yeast infection, though they may not have an infection at the time.
piggle 9
Siri is a real name..I know two people named Siri and they're not named after the iPhone Siri because they are both in their 20s
piggle 9
Also #45 yeast is not a fungus. It's more closely related to humans than fungi
piggle 9
V
skatoolaki 24
#93 Even so, it's a terrible name to stick a child with.
addioty 19
I know a girl named La-a (pronounced luh-dash-uh). She truly hates it. Why do parents name their children stuff like that? I mean my name's Addison but it's not that crazy.
trolled11 8
they say bulling is the bullys fault...
heyyoitskiraaa 10
It sorta is..... Why would it be the name of the child fault?
Thejackel79 9
I think he was blaming the parents not OP's name.
heyyoitskiraaa 10
It shouldn't be the parents falut either. Its not the name or the parents thats the problem it's the bullies own maturity that is the problem.
Thejackel79 9
You have a point however OPs parents should he somewhat to blame when thet named her after a fungus. You just dont do that.
Tyler008 12
Although you can't blame only one person alone, clearly some of the responsibility is on the parents. Quite a big problem is the parents maturity.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
I want to seriously know how this happens. Like in all seriousness, how do you pick a name for a child and know nothing about it?
tjw1616 21
sounds like her mom is pretty healthly & has never had any reason to know anything about the subject, until recently I didn't even know what a yeast infection was until my curiousity from commercials wore me down, however I do see your point, if I was naming my child, I'd most definitely do my research
DracoSpirita 21
10 - My friend's mom is a doctor. She told us a story once about how a woman came into her practice with her two children, whose names were Chlamydia and Gonnorhea (or however you spell that one nasty std). My friend's mom asked the woman if she had any idea what those names meant, and the woman replied, "No, I just thought they were pretty." Moral of the story? People can be really stupid sometimes.
Soundslikeothers 15
So.... you found out your unborn sister was a girl? what gave it away?
Cleao18317 11
You're an idiot