Anonymous
United States
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
andy
Long Beach, United States
Knowledge is power
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
baby names
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
lawdy
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
anotherfmladdict
Muscatine, United States
Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Dor51
Tacoma, United States
Cool rapper name
Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML
noway
Cholet, France
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
numbnuts
Nanaimo, Canada
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
-___-
Stockholm, Sweden
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
BlackRavenWings
United States
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Top comments
desireev 18
What is wrong with parents nowadays?! Do they hate their kids? There was a mother who was on the news because she named her child "Facebook Me Soon".. WTF?!?!
ihasbrains 10
Heard people would name their kids things like Sparta so that they could introduce them like this: 'THIS, IS, SPARTA!' Gotta admit, it's kind of funny.
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Comments (428)
dukeunidude 4
She's going to be a stripper.
123ilovejustinb 12
Awkward...my name is Twinkie
ACE1442 16
That's it! Stop thee planet...I'm getting off! People just make shit up nowdays.
wriptidez 0
better tham ding dong
mschasity 0
Twinkies are good or she was being prepared for her daughter to Bo "cream" filled lol
antara37 1
LOOL
cjrand 7
Mother was probably a Ho-Ho that got a little too much Ding Dong...
nabila21 0
Weird...
ih82bl8 2
I even had trouble with that one
fencer310 0
The question is, how does this effect YOUR LIFE, hence FML? Funny story, but definitely earns a spot as a Facebook Status, not a FML. Just saying