Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
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Comments (110)
purplerokks876 0
wat do they do with the eggs
guitarfreak4evr3 1
they make these devices called a dishwasher. also a sink that produces water with soap sitting near it.
SupermanXL 3
never would've thought of that... not with a chance to post an FML about "dad the wife beater"
velocityteen1 0
thats disturbing ewww
eriinbaby 0
ooh yummy adding some flavour to your eggs ;)
tAlk_NERdy_tO_ME 0
was she naked? o.O
Sp1k3y1 0
hahahhahahahha
956TXking 0
threesome
beeship321 5
I don't know how she deserved it.....butt my dad hits us with the spatula all the time
Hellooomindyy 0
so wash it? its not like she was naked
RRC_fml 0
is ur moms a milf...
twi_freak 0
what the heck is milf?
WtFiMdAdDy 0
wow...you don't know what a Milf is? haha smh!
Vincenzop 0
"...But your mom's the best, a super M-I-L-F, and she likes to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef..."
zolltf 4
Epic Ray William Jonhson FTW