Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
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Comments (110)
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
noobgang7 5
Clever
burner_in_blue 0
who wants eggs? fyl
meganasoarus 0
lolol! mouthwash.
kthedestroyer 0
At least it wasn't in her pants.
sublimaze 6
now you know why everyone says your breath smells like ass
o0XMzMayX0o 0
so wat are ur eggs slightly salted a bit more???
luda111b 0
delicious
BadPinkKitty07 0
awww. I thought your dad only did that with me! ....... that bastard.......
whatchutalkinbou 0
ydi for not being in the kitchen
madarchod 0
gud one
anoelle 0
was she naked? cause clothed isn't really a big deal.
saviisneat 0
I agree with 54. I wouldn't care if she had pants on. there are more germs in the air than on her pants and you don't seem to be upset OP. I don't live my life in fear of germs, I would never leave a plastic bubble if that were the case.
Melkezidech 0
I believe he prefers her "Sunny side up"
Manda_1818 0
dont think it was the germs that was the fml?
ryan_mcgrath1 0
or scrambled
Suth3rnB3lla 0
haha it could have been worse!
AaronatorTEN 0
I've seen this fml before
StoryOfTheYear 15
omfg! your life is ******! dishwasher ftw?
nrana777 0
does ur breaths smell like ass all the time? of so now you know why =P
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
How do you like your eggs in the morning? ;) :P
JoshTheMaggot 8
hey atleast you didn't catch you're dad scrambling your moms eggs lol.
StoryOfTheYear 15
wow there is much more egg *ex jokes than one would expect...
koolkidt123 0
this reminds me of the time I fell down the stairs... while scrambling eggs with my moms ******... with a spatula of course
IMTHEGREATEST 0
39 you're retarded, she had to walk into the kitchen or at least be walking towards it in order to see that. ps I love kitchen jokes as much as the next guy, but not on every post. moderators should delete that shit instead of people posting first... in my opinion at least
MeanestCommenter 0
107...WTF and I'm sure that's an egg-zageration
MeanestCommenter 0
LOL@127
zabava 0
OP: Look at the bright side, shopping for your Father's day gift will be easier this year
rhYnoH 0
SMELL THE HANDLE
fezzaza 0
Shazam 3[]---- *smack*
YeahFMLxX 0
MY GAWD! All you all are clever little fiends! Punny shot guys, punny shit.. :D
toxic10uhc 0
136 I just puked in my mouth....
navybabebridget 0
Hahah love all the egg jokes(: eww OP.. bad mental image. fyl
nickernutz 0
was he tossing her egg salad?
is300k 0
OPs mom is easy
LuckySecret23 0
I agree.
LuckySecret23 0
#127 hahaha..
sabatical 0
at least it wasn't a turkey Baster *wretch*
abcnonamecba 0
who wants kinky eggs
doong_fml 0
ydi for waking up
MattCole 0
Everytime I spank the OP's mom, she is naked.
eprincy 0
its called, wash it
dlbliner 0
YDI for eating eggs e v e r y morning.
Sinic 0
Make some assburgers.
CaptSkippy 9
he was just adding some booty juice
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
swglol 0
The strawberries in your dp looks yummy too!
Jandude 9
apples > strawberrys
Averizzle 0
Queer^
Biohazard41 0
rasberrys>anything
classysexpot 0
yummmmmy ;)
thatisjank 0
Do your eggs taste good?
ryan_mcgrath1 0
your mom does
opinion_rouge 0
Whoops! Looks like mom and dad will have a new toy.
rhYnoH 0
Anything>Jews
silentsniper441 0
even explosive diarea?
StoryOfTheYear 15
WTF... how can anyone say that anything is better than las fresas? hes a queer alright
CitizenSnipz 0
throwing a water bottle at Justin Bieber > a nythibg
groovis 2
At least I hope she was clothed.
SirWhatsHisFace 0
This wouldn't be an FML if he was just smacking her jeans/pants/massive granny panties.
Manda_1818 0
actually i think either way wuld scar me for life :/
koolkidt123 0
******>food
joeyl2008 29
I'm assuming/hoping that the dad just casually smacked the moms butt with it while he was cooking because if they were using that as in actual sex prop that would be ******* gross
Soulathyia 0
Blackmail them! Lol. This literally made me cringe. If your over 18 it's time to move out hun.
afatmonkey 0
And lose out on some great opertunities in adult enertainment filming? Hell no. Or, as they say in Russia, пелмклвй займ Одера. (hoe did that get stuck up there?)
chrihot4 0
did they then pursuee to anal intercourse then use ur vibrating tooth brush as a toy?
aardvarkish 17
Don't worry, sweetie: heat kills germs ;)
lky830 0
very true #12... but it's still disturbing anyway you look at it..no one wants to think about their parents having sex. the fact that my parents had sex in order to create me makes me want to be buried alive :( op, buy your own cooking utensils and hide them in your room. hopefully they aren't gross enough to try that shit in your own personal living space.
shhhitsasecret 0
it never said their parents were having sex.
aardvarkish 17
good thing we had 110 here to remind us all of the obvious.
coderedz 0
to 8 that's because her pants were on the ground
kthedestroyer 0
Ha! Win.
hnz 13
it's ok. just buy a new one?
Grosso 3
use their ***** to whipp up a shake or something!
sandrew17 0
now that was funny as hell
coffeefiend 0
@14 lookin like a fool with her pants on the ground?