Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I helped my neighbor carry her groceries upstairs. One egg carton slipped from my hand and exploded in the sink. She stared at the mess, then at me, and said, “That's my omelet down the drain.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xllabraxasllx 19
Maybe if you had cleaned the litter box a few times in the past you wouldn’t have fallen for that god-tier practical joke. Lmao ydi
Lexxxiii 23
I would have thrown hands at your sister if I was you you got me effed up that’s so messed up 🤮
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Lexxxiii 23
I would have thrown hands with your sister if I was you got me effed up that’s so messed up 🤮
Lexxxiii 23
I would have thrown hands at your sister if I was you you got me effed up that’s so messed up 🤮
Inkoseh 33
We going the Beetlejuice route with this comment? Lol
xllabraxasllx 19
Maybe if you had cleaned the litter box a few times in the past you wouldn’t have fallen for that god-tier practical joke. Lmao ydi
RichardPencil 32
Bacon, cat shit. Bacon, cat shit. Eat it or don't? Tough call!
Regis Bent 12
This is why you check something is clean, especially if your little sister gives it to you
giraffe_poop 8
I'm cracking up 🤣
RichardPencil 32
What an eggs-ellent pun! I love great yolks.