Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
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Top comments
coffeefiend 0
Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?
thikimo 0
mmm yummy
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Comments (110)
kekelala3 0
wash it?
epictrollathon 0
Hang a hook on the wall in their bedroom, then hang the spatula there for them and get a new one for your eggs. Problem solved.
delaney16 0
#1 ur funny ;)
kirk_hammett8 1
dude i do that to your mom too yeah!!!!!
tyler9467 0
Why is this an FML? She wa clothed obviously so why is that such a big deal? It's not he rubbed it on her sweaty ass. You won't even taste anything different.
Erindub 0
and
toakes523 0
you probably thought your eggs had an extra kick to it that you like huh
emygirl13 0
this is sooooo funny!!! ahaha, made my day... u have funny parents!
Sekococo 0
today you learn you mother gets creative with a turkey baster
quarterback7 0
ya yyour fault u eat eggs ever morning