chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
My little buddy
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
anne
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
CALIdime_15
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
lovingthis
Largo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Sarahir
🌶️ Spicy
Classic Dave
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Anonymous
Winnipeg, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Communication tool
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
kitkat545
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Revealing
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Close
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML
Top comments
sjisje 0
did the penis talk back?
allenrotstein 0
c'mon, this is kinda funny..
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Comments (191)
roxy999_fml 0
hahahaha. what the hell
rockhound 0
what's up with your photo? looks like baby Hitler.
Ludii_fml 0
^ Lol
Bikrbum 6
I wish mine would. He needs to tell it to stand up!!
joeinthedark 18
Ouch. Maybe he needs a little blue pill to go with the pep talk?
RedPillSucks 33
4 hours of erection. 5 minutes of sex. 3hrs and 55min of sleeping on your dick.
joeinthedark 18
I think you only need to be concerned if the penis was responding, or if he was professing his undying love for it and promising to leave his wife, once the kids are out of high school.
Lopop72 0
That's not normal?....
oldenuff2party 3
maybe that's what gets him off
nizzzle 0
Maybe if you talked to it more he wouldn't have to...
sourgirl101 29
Ya, get real close. It's "hard" of hearing.
Metalman69 0
maybe you should be more interesting. then he wouldnt feel the need to talk to it. or put out more as he was prob apologising for lqck of use
at1325 0
I talk to my boyfriends penis sometimes. I also talk to my uterus occasionally, usually cussing at it during my period. Seems normal enough for me. All is fine as long as he doesn't seriously believe it is responding or capable of listening.
Kawaiichan42 3
I swear at my uterus when I'm on my period, too, and I tell it I hate it and that I'm going to cut it out, usually while poking that general area.
cheerkea 0
that's just plain funny:)
DjeePee 25
Oh my God, how badly is your life ****** up right now!