Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him to make it say "duty"
elrusso 0
I'm not sure if me laughing at this FML is a good or a bad sign!
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Comments (140)
ulicksam 0
You've known he's immature all along and you're still dating him. YDI.
josebeto1 6
What does YDI mean
zombieglamour_fml 0
YDI= You deserved it
womblebat 2
Well he obviously needs to get his laughs somewhere since you're so sfuck up and "mature" you can't have a laugh too.
Steve95401 49
is her boyfriend Beavis or Butthead?
jrad1982 0
love the pedo Stache your rockin stevo!
W4X 0
Did anyone read this and think about "Arby n The Chief" or am I the one nerd here?
JizzBlitz 0
Hahah I found that amusing and I'm thinking maybe I should try that myself!
TK66_Aggression 0
you're an asshole. that is funny as hell and I'm pretty sure anybody with even a slight sense of humor will laugh
DocBastard 40
Wow...I had my Commodore 64 do that way back when the C64 was the shit. Anyone who had a C64 knows what I'm talking about, and if you've never heard of it, you're too damn young and need to get the hell off my lawn.
batgirlGordon 0
this is not a FML. this is funny. you need a sense of humor.
lillygreen024 0
u try it and tell me its not funny! enjoy the little things in life loosen up
dannyboytourette 0
agreed. laugh more. little things like that are somewhat amusing. immature to some. but its good to laugh about things like that. laughing makes you more happy.