Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him to make it say "duty"
elrusso 0
I'm not sure if me laughing at this FML is a good or a bad sign!
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Comments (140)
skyeyez9 25
He'd LOVE the "Talking Carl" app for the iPhone then!
skyeyez9 25
Adults who play more are happier. For instance, having a hobby like playing basketball with friends after work, going to the batting cages, hanging out with friends and I guess microsoft sam.
gizz104 0
I think that pretty effin halirious. I have the drivesafe app for my bb and I still crack up everytime I get a message that says "gonorrhea". Ok, so that word isn't used much in everyday conversation. What I meant to say is I still crack up everytime my roommate sits across the room and texts me that and other words that only a 4th grader would find funny, normally. Btw I'm 22
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
Get a freaking sense of humor. Don't be so boring.
headbanger08 0
this isn't fml material. I do that all the time haha
mmneil 1
You're on the wrong site. Go to mlia...your boyfriend sounds awesome
ankit123444 0
hahaha!! that's awesome!!
Midnightpearls 13
hey c'mon. it IS pretty funny ^^
overrandom 4
Childish.
gay22 3
sounds to me like he has a good sense of humor, if you don't want him, I'll take him