Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Send him a queef and you'll never hear from him again.
MellyBee 9
Just stop listening to the sound clips he sends you! Delete them as you receive them... As for your boyfriend's immaturity, that's a harder problem to fix.
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Comments (108)
MellyBee 9
Just stop listening to the sound clips he sends you! Delete them as you receive them... As for your boyfriend's immaturity, that's a harder problem to fix.
lilikawaii 6
That's no fun! Sometimes immaturity Is fun. I'd respond with pictures of myself gasping in disgust and eventually passing out from the toxicity. :P at least you're not really smelling them. :)
MellyBee 9
I would agree if it was one or two farts, but 5 is pushing it!
lewk908 13
you are a downer
beccaishereyay 11
Why does everyone think they're better than everyone else lately?? He's probably not that immature, just a really bored guy haha. There's no reason to be rude to your boyfriend... Even if he is being gross.
CareFace 16
Holy crap.. I don't believe there is actually a down to earth girl on FML that doesn't straight out say "dump him"... #16 takes the girlfriend material cake!
beccaishereyay 11
I like your cat picture :)
CareFace 16
Reeeeowww! I like your picture too :)
beccaishereyay 11
You inspired me to change mine haha
RussianFox 13
Room for one more?
Jonkbaby 23
shitty cucumbers
alfred07 18
I don't think this is one of those times. Unless both people find fart noises funny it is the type of immaturity best avoided.
beccaishereyay 11
44- I like yours the best! Haha
blegehlehgleh 0
I was sending voicemails BEFORE it was cool
killerkiss92 8
One, two, three, four, I declare a fart war!!
perdix 31
Send him a queef and you'll never hear from him again.
CareFace 16
I'll be one to say, toilet humour is funny. It'a a humour that will never die out. Though, queefs? That's just disgusting. Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Stewie and Meg are farting away in the bath tub, bubbles then come from the front of Meg, and Stewie runs away screaming. There's a reason for that. Lol.
nebula748 14
20 - nice double standard.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
you could always fart into a bottle (I like gatoraid, doesn't taint the smell) and save it until he comes home, when its all rotten and stanky
miserypoison 13
20 - a queef is no different than the farting noise you make with your armpit and hand. It is just trapped air.
CareFace 16
38 - that emits from a ******. And if they have a bad odor, that queef gonna stink. How would you like a fish fart from the front bum?!
rubberduckie94 13
I am not one to get hung up when guys fart. A lot of the time it is funny. But for you to say queefs stink blah blah blah. Have you smelt yourself when you fart? That's not roses that comes out of your ass several times a day guys. Besides queefs are harder to control than farts and how many times have you actually heard it once maybe twice in your life? I am not mad I just wonder why some guys expect women to always have complete control of their body.
sk8ergirl553 0
I completely agree. On my bus(I'm fourteen) all the guys talk about farting and if one girl makes any sort of gross sound they're teased about it. It really sucks being stuck with people that are so immature each day. Double standards suck.
iceman420son 7
I lost the game
Dnigz13 4
Good way to start a farting competition when your not with each other in person
deadbabies 0
OP should look at this as a bonding experience. Years down the line when they start drifting apart because he'll hide all his problems and concerns and let them build up all because he felt embarrassed to be open with her because she rejected his attempts to strengthen their bond, she'll look back and regret not embracing his flatulence and requiting it with her own.
beccaishereyay 11
13- this has nothing to do with 3's comment.
deadbabies 0
34- Actually, it does, since he suggested a farting competition which is the bonding experience I mentioned. However, you being an uneducated dipshit has nothing to do with either comment.
RoseTintMyWorld 8
I agree. I wish my boyfriend would fart in front of me. I hate that we're not at that point in our relationship were we don't have to be embarrassed by bodily functions. Besides, I ******* hate holding mine in.
Dnigz13 4
Lol I've told some1 that before hahaha
bchatzis 9
Sent him a sound clip of you on the toilet taking a number two. Guarantee no more fart messages!
Mister_Triangle 21
This is the Internet, man! Anonymity gives you freedom to swear if you want! **** shit balls ass tit **** Enjoy the freedom now, while the web is still an untamed frontier
apollo16 6
I'm pretty sure that will make him want to break up with her
chris36taylor 2
Atleast he wasnt sitting on the toilet during all of this
GVirdi 11
You know this how?
behindtheseaaa 0
just delete them, and ignore him until he stops.
NippsSlipps 10
Op, you should do the right thing and declare a fart war ;)
perdix 31
Which is all fun and games until somebody sharts.
NippsSlipps 10
And then they have a doody fight?
thischick1659 1
But ladies don't fart, they poot.
NippsSlipps 10
I'm on the toilet right now, buddy. Doing things 'women cant do'
ninjaboy18 6
Wow.. When I first discovered this I immediately started saying little love quotes to her. Not disgusting fart noises..
Schizomaniac 24
You must be quite the romantic, ninjaboy.
Mister_Triangle 21
Gaaaay!!!! ..... I'm so lonely
MEM0817 18
How romantic! I wish my man did that for me... mine just tells me he loves me and buys flowers all the time... asshole!
archenemybtch 0
What the hell is wrong with you!?
cgchamp89 7
Hers does that too... Which means that her bf is more diverse and cooler than yours. Your sarcasm sucks.
alfred07 18
It seems pretty obvious that she is being sarcastic.
p_syko 5
Your my new hero! I've always said that farts are an aphrodisiac to women! Hehehehe
MEM0817 18
Yeah I was just kidding people. It was a joke.. ha ha ha.
Krirn 21
*New Message* Subject: Wet One