Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML
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Top comments
lightanddark 17
What did you sing to your cat?
ironichalibut 24
Prolly want a cracker?
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Comments (101)
SqueezeMe32 9
Don't worry OP...he prolly does the same thing when you're not home lol!! Laugh it off!!
GirlGamer12345 22
I don't think he does..
sunnyray812 42
Prolly?
ironichalibut 24
Prolly want a cracker?
gjikvtj 18
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say prolly nod
ilovetraveler 17
I'm favoriting this for the comments.
lightanddark 17
What did you sing to your cat?
Melix 31
Everytime we touch, I get this feeling Everytime we kiss, I swear I can fly!
MrDonSalvetti 27
Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last Need you by my side
Demig0d6 14
Cause every time we touch I feel my stomach And every time we kiss I reach for the toilet paper
buckdharma 38
The Beatles- Get Back.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
Cause every time we touch. I feel the static, and - AHH FLUFFY STOP ATTACKING ME! I know I'm a bad singer, but DAMN!
AmexBlack 24
I was thinking more along the lines of... 'Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur. Happy kitty sleepy kitty purr purr purr'
orientalwhisker 6
"I want to kiss you all over."
RMoreNY 15
FYL, that's embarrassing
EternalRest 5
This didn't go the way I was expecting it to..
MrsDruidess 23
the singing to her cat is a little embarrassing, but damn being home alone is no reason not to close the door for a #2. poop spores man! ewww YDI
cryssycakesx3 23
they don't fly around the house, 71.
addictedtosorrow 12
Being home alone is reason for no doors being closed and yelling at the top of your lungs
frozen92_fml 12
That's just purr-fect.
CobraLazerFace 21
This sounds just like my cousins internet browsing history.
BootheGhost 6
Well that's a shi- *coughs loudly* Surely something he won't let down easy.
jjander69 11
Now.. That just made my day.
iamananglophile 18
Shit happens.
Victormoon 14
That's hilarious, did he at least song good? Lol
GirlGamer12345 22
You need to read this again buddy
ChristianH39 30
And learn to English
jimmy_poison 19
Do you even English?
vuduguru 5
I learn to English yah lol
iOceanus 18
Don't you just love it when people use adjectives in place of adverbs? *raises right arm at an angle*
illegalbeagle69 23
At least he didn't walk in on you pooping on the cat... don't ask..
christge1beast 17
Is there a story behind this?
zandalee 20
Old FML. Don't ask!!
KingLewisII 34
Shh he said don't ask
SouthernLady12 13
I'm too nosy to not know what the old FML said... tell me. I promise not to tell anyone else ;)
xlord 27
I searched poop + lets just say I found pages and pages of FMLs.
cryssycakesx3 23
I'm asking as well! at least it wasn't in the litter box also?