Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him to make it say "duty"
elrusso 0
I'm not sure if me laughing at this FML is a good or a bad sign!
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Comments (140)
dt520 4
he could have been watching tenticle gang rape, get over it
moomoomeow2 7
us dudes are like that. get used to it. don't mean to sound mean.
Sweetpea137 0
well we're no longer run by england so we do things our own way
just_laugh_along 0
What an idiot. Microsoft Michelle is so much better.
jamjelly386 5
hell* stupid auto correct
deafeningsilence 8
Oh god, not the England/USA wars. Just shut up. OP lives in the USA, and that's how we spell it here.
Lilroo88 0
Mine does the same thing lol
BubbaDoose 0
my iPod forth gen does it, it's actually really funny
Inspired22 11
I think it's so sad when people see these FMLs and say, "Oh, God, this is no FML." What do you want, nothing but horrible sob stories on this site? I love these kind of FMLs! It's hilarious, because the OP had that moment of, "Wow, my boyfriend is being a moron," and it's still just so goddamned funny, it's like a clip right out of a comedy. And no, it isn't a sob story, and it isn't a "her life is so horrible" scenario...no, she doesn't have cancer, no, she didn't find out the world doesn't love her, but that's why it can be so funny! I honestly come to this site to laugh, not to cry!
Goofy_au86 0
sounds like a legend, boys will always be boys no matter how old they are