Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him to make it say "duty"
elrusso 0
I'm not sure if me laughing at this FML is a good or a bad sign!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
Karnezar 2
Could be worse, he could dump you. Via Microsoft Sam.
co0ki3monster 1
Ahahhaha "Penis" :}
ItsJussAle 0
Hahaha I Like Ur BF :D
chellabella856 0
lolz i wish my bf had a sense of humor
redmnky21 8
i dont see what the issue is and i'm a 30 year old woman lololol
squanmonster 8
what is wrong with that?
neongurl98 10
thats funny!!!!
mini01_fml 0
oh my goodness ! that's Freaking hilarious.!!!
fyreshadowes 2
While admittedly your boyfriend could use some improvement of his sense of humor, at least he has one. Unfortunately, bad taste in jokes comes free with most men these days. Good luck in straightening him out.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Why did this make me think of Arby n the Chief?