Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him to make it say "duty"
elrusso 0
I'm not sure if me laughing at this FML is a good or a bad sign!
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Comments (140)
butterfly403 12
obviously dick and fart jokes wouldnt be lost on him. lol
MrGordon 9
Wait... Is that wrong not to laugh about this? Those are funny words, and most guys... Most PEOPLE cant hold the laughing when they hear them.
zepirothica 0
If he's that stupid, you should dump him.
newzealand 28
I think he should be called Microsoft Dave
tleaf 0
who hasn't done this? Lol.
bassdredd 2
hahahahahaha omg I love doing that
wreckfish1 0
Hey atleast he wasn't looking at pictures
superdude9856 2
you have to understand - that shit is fun.
botulismo 0
Seriously, why do you care? Is this really a FML moment, or is this a MLIA moment? I don't care how intelligent is, how many advanced degrees he has, or any of that, he would most likely find it funny. It doesn't make him immature. It means he doesn't take himself seriously. You shouldn't either. Even you should admit it's pretty funny.
iDontHaveTwitter 0
I'd laugh at that too. but then again I am only 13 :3