Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him to make it say "duty"
elrusso 0
I'm not sure if me laughing at this FML is a good or a bad sign!
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Comments (140)
BelleElle_fml 5
LOL, it's more funny when you make it curse.
lilcutie95 0
least he stays outa trouble when you leav and doesn't look up adult vids. :)
manofthenorth 0
I still find typing cmon in it because well just type it lol
bratwa 0
How is that a FML? I would probably laugh with him
deaper 16
yeah I've never seen it spelled any other way than feces
RedPillSucks 33
Congratulations on giving birth to a 25yr old boy. I'm sure the bundle of joy will bring you lots of pleasure as he regales you with farting or pooping jokes. FYL, indeed.
EvilDave 13
YDI for dating an immature dumbass. If you don't want your boyfriend to act like an immature dumbass, don't date immature dumbasses.
efmylife95 0
and?
salmendoza9 0
haha thats funny
TheNewGuy03 29
i'm actually a huge fan of microsoft sam, but here's the catch. it's amusing in certain instances, not all. for example, i'd have it say a phrase for me, and i am bemused simply by the manner in which it is said, and not necessarily the content itself. there's something funny about a program that can't quite process something as simple as "awww," and instead renders it by its individual letters. try it! point being, your man is kinda retarded for just having microsoft sam say those three words. ugh. |the kid|