Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe he could only afford to because his friends were buying. But FYL nonetheless.
jchansfan 0
Awww... Your husband is an ass. =(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
122vanessa122 5
that made like no sense..
Intoxicunt 6
*Bows more* Maybe so, but your puns are very clever and quick. Besides, mimes are the lowest form of "humor".
explodingpupppet 0
ok, konrad ur an a-hole the fact that the guy isnt even with her on her birthday means hes a complete douche... girl you can do better....
greer 0
To leave you alone on your birthday? Thats really ****** up. But he sounds like a really great guy ! hahah nott. stand up for yourself and tell him something. Dont take shit like that. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! hope reading all the other FML's helps. :]
startrekker 3
I cannot believe this is first time he's pulled a douche move like this. You knew what you were marrying and now unfortunately you have to live with it.
desichick23 0
not to be mean, or too blunt, but your husband is a dick. no offense. =[ fyl.
nuttinick 0
hey its cheaper than dinner and complaining.
rarrigoni 0
what an ass. if this is a regular occurrence, YDI for staying with him.
FoundManyLemons 0
Time to check where your relationship is. That's really ****** up.
demonkey_fml 4
He seems like an ass. It's time to re-evaluate your options and consider getting out of this relationship while you're still young (and if either of you are over 30, than he really is a ****-up). He seems very immature and selfish to do this to you on your b-day. You need to be respected and your needs should be met. He seems to be taking you for granted. If you don't get a present this year (and an apology) than start thinking what this relationship is doing for you.