Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe he could only afford to because his friends were buying. But FYL nonetheless.
jchansfan 0
Awww... Your husband is an ass. =(
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Comments (88)
Intoxicunt 6
Oh no, I'm hostage!? HELP HELP!!!! >___>
Lil_Crit13 0
Aw that sucks! Sounds like somthing MY husband would do! Next time, come get me! We'll go out for your birthday lol
ireply_w_lyrics 0
I'll send in a cowboy to help!!! because "...The world could use a cowboy right about now Run those bad guys right out of town Round 'em up and hunt 'em down The world could use a cowboy right about now The world could use a cowboy..."
Intoxicunt 6
*Bitchslaps ireply* Bastard. How dare you country up our conversation! Mercy, when I look at your name, I instead see "merci" the French word. I don't need help. I can kick my abductor's ass. I'd open up a can of whoop-ass, but I don't have a can opener.
Bathory_fml 0
Divorce. Him.
Twinklestar 0
Drinks are a lot cheaper than dinner, and if you couldn't afford it and argued with him about it he was probably feeling pretty stressed out and needed some time out.
perfectwinds 0
Depends on how many drinks you have and if he's stressed out he's probably having more than what it would cost for a dinner. It was her BIRTHDAY, that's why she wanted to go out! Being her HUSBAND he should have made it work. He's a jackass. OP, I hope that when his birthday rolls around you do the same thing.
wingedspiritus 0
LOLOLO Country up your conversation ^O^/
Intoxicunt 6
He did. I'm tempted to bury the comment just so its countriness isn't glaring at my eyeballs.
Intoxicunt 6
I prefer my ass as un-country as possible. I live in Tennessee, remember? So I'm already exposed to this shit and the accompanying lifestyle too much.
Intoxicunt 6
You kill me with these puns! How the hell do they come to you so easily? *Bows down*