Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
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Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
Give him a ride to a gay bar far out of town and leave him there.
Dotell95 3
Tell him you can't because your busy studying
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Comments (159)
lizzie96 2
dump his ass bro
Juliaa15 6
Dump him? I'd hold onto him. seems like he has his priorities straight. knows what he wants. stable.
CoconutMuffin 5
Yeah, seriously! He needs to get his **** straight.
bigmanj28 0
Not his fault she failed to show up at her birthday party
Garyy_fml 11
why wouldn't his dick be straight?
imaberry95 0
he obviously was studying how many drinks it takes to not remember what he was sstudying
flockz 20
WAIT SO DICKS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE STRAIGHT?!?!? WHY HAS NO ONE EVER SAID ANYTHING?!?
iEatGuppies 0
you should pick him up, drop him off 10 miles away from home and write on his arm "it's over bitch" so when he wakes up with a hangover he'll be screwed!
iEatGuppies 0
^^win. I'm #69 -FBG$-
tybtab 5
maybe he has a degree in partying
Metal_Chick 15
Dicks are straight?? :-O... oh my my ex needs to get his checked..and op if I were you I'd make him pay first; go party, get wasted, have the time of your life, and then call him to let him know your catching a ride with Chad [or some other guy's name] and that you no longer need his ass or dick, whatever.
CoconutMuffin 5
How did you get dicks from what I said? It's supposed to be shit. :/
TruexSniper 0
I was thinking the same thing.
alexg823 0
86 - It's easier to just not censor yourself.
a_nutritionist 10
i wonder if his name is rick...drunk dialling can cause all sorts of problems.
daysgoby902 6
I totally agree. stable
That1GuyUNo 0
you deserve it for dating him
newburton13 26
Yeah, in a desert somewhere.
immataco 9
Girls don't always know what retards they fall for.
xPsYcHO_KILLa_x 0
wow we are surrounded by liars and cheats
demonspeed 0
oh you have no idea the horrors that await you in adulthood...enjoy what you got right now.
whitesox365 0
the world is bad!... blahblahblah
grafixxx687 0
its dumping time!!!
pandaran 0
only dumbasses would lie and cheat.
sexyshit44 0
Maybe it was the bar exam.
FMLandurstoo 9
Give him a ride to a gay bar far out of town and leave him there.
swittig 0
giggity
2cacrawf 0
#3 .. perfect comment with that picture :) win
woahheylex 0
He'd like it... the OPs name is Devon.
nerdfighteria 7
Devon's a gender-neutral name.
Lauren10102 3
leave him there naked!
BaconDave 12
How exactly would he leave him there naked? Good thought.
obamathellama 0
Drive him and drop him off in front of some cops naked. @93 hes drunk getting him naked shouldn't be too hard.
CAPTmok 7
Everyone studies in their own ways....... right???
BaconDave 12
Except mine is ordering some fried chicken, eat the whole bucket, and cry myself to sleep on my couch watching reality shows.
hagenmat000 0
Virgins.
cc_the_beast 6
We used to hold study groups at the pub. Have a few beers, talk shop, good way of studying actually!
cbaidchris 6
He's studying for the bar exam. Coors light is super cold.
McAninch35 9
Obviously, the bottle of vodka was his reward to himself for studying so hard. Really, you should be proud.
MrAngel96 0
happy birthday though!!!
kalvarez2 0
Nice:)
Destabilized 0
Box him in his mouf.
Dotell95 3
Tell him you can't because your busy studying
MuchDance90s 0
best answer. close thread.
MzCherry29 0
Lmao!! Thats wat I would have said!!
saIty 17
Tell him your unicorn will pick him up, and to wait by Baby Street. Chances are he'll believe it.
BaconDave 12
Too bad OP didn't get $4 for karate lessons to kick their asses...
GunnarG9 0
wonder how many people lulled up to him and said *gasp* Omg... here's 4, no wait 8 bucks to help double your karate lessons to double kick their butts.
nadyy14 8
he's a jack-az. nuff said