Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe he could only afford to because his friends were buying. But FYL nonetheless.
jchansfan 0
Awww... Your husband is an ass. =(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
122vanessa122 5
hahaa awww, happy birthday ? :P FYL
Smiley_70 22
Have a really good birthday, Go to the pub and ensure that he buys you dinner there - join him.
shaubygal 11
more like go to the pub and tell him your divorcing him cuz hes an asshole
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe he could only afford to because his friends were buying. But FYL nonetheless.
wingedspiritus 0
That's what I thought too. D: Or maybe he did it just to piss off her wife because of the argument. >_o
plexico 4
Toxi, He was probably buying for everyone that night JUST to piss off his wife. His friends who know the guy as a mooch are pleasantly surprised at his sudden generosity.
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah, next time they should tell her he's cheating. She'll accuse him, he'll get pissed, and he'll buy more drinks for them.
Card_Games 0
Yeah, FYL-- WTF??
tatababe 1
The point is it's her bday even if he really couldnt afford it he should at least be at home with her
jchansfan 0
Awww... Your husband is an ass. =(
BeeSkwaird 0
Depending what she said in the argument, I don't blame him! Besides, it doesn't said he got anything there.
SpicyDuck 22
Who goes to the bar to not drink..?
Kkkdawg 27
#78- Uhh, I do. I can't drink because of a disease I have, but I still go out with my friends..
anonymous100000 17
this is a serious issue OP. talk it out, go to counseling, do something. divorce rates are so high because people give up. nonetheless, that's not cool.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
Aww, that sounds terrible. Happy birthday though. I have a feeling that there are gonna be some stupid comments about getting revenge and/or divorcing him.
jchansfan 0
Haha maybe he was only there to socialize... lol :P
allmidnighteyes 11
Dollar beer night?
chowyuk 0
maybe they treated
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
Even if his friends did treat him out it doesn't justify that he still should've thought about doing something special for his wife.
allmidnighteyes 11
Yeah, like bring her along too
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Maybe they went out and it was their treat because it was celebrating the wife's birthday, just without her?
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...Golden Tee, shuffleboard, pinball, he's got the score that everybody around here's tryin to beat, he's a six pack up when he walks in, tells the band crank it up to 10, then he's up dancin on his seat, well he's a big mouth, yellin' hey play some free bird, says give me three steps and nobody gets hurt, then he takes off his shirt There's one in every crowd, brings the party in us out, good time charley with a harley, whiskey bent and hellbound, he's got the next round, but he always drinks for free, there's one in every crowd, and it's usually me, hey ya'll, hey ya'll, hey ya'll, there's one in every crowd..." You should know that marrying such a champ husband means he has to keep his rep
Lifelooser_fml 0
*wondering why you wanted to marry someone like that*
hi_from_HI 0
I hope you get all the comfort and confirmation you need from FML in that YES, he is a douche. It's not just you.