Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML
Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, it was my first driving lesson. I was so bad, the police stopped me and accused me of being drunk, because I almost crashed into the pole in front of them. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML
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Top comments
Jankae 0
LOLL, wait but I don't get how you can't talk properly just cause your lip is swollen a bit
_Noon_ 0
That sucks. But a test would immediately prove you didn't drink, so it's not that bad?
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Comments (96)
jason0 2
go to http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=1758095
heavenandhell 0
You see that's what's wrong with the us. When I'm drunk I can stand on one foot and walk and everything they shouldent rely on that for others safety
AJ872 0
For one thing, there's nothing to say he didn't do all of that. For another, he was the one who was hit, not the other way around. If there was little to no damage, and the swollen lip was the worst of the injuries, maybe he decided not to bother. A lot of people do that, if there's nothing much to make a report about. The above was supposed to be a reply to #47; not sure why it didn't pop up that way.
SimonJaxx11 0
you drunk ha
monkeysniffer08 0
AJ872...... the OP makes it sound like the wreck ruined his lights. if that is the case, I'm sure he would have gotten a police report and the guys info before driving off. the swollen/bleeding lip should have been more than enough evidence for the cop not to expect alcohol was involved. FAKE!
Thecloak 0
This is so fake that I want to punch you
Einstein714 0
lexibro , I could have swore they had tools called radios where cops can communicateYDI
lexiBRo 0
You fail to live up to your name. Do you think cops radio all the other cops every single time they respond to an accident or pull someone over ?
F3RRyT 0
Lexibro, maybe not in UK but in US cops radio in to control or command or whatever you want to call it any time they stop for any reason. It is for their safety so if something happens someone knows what they were doing. I would think it would be the same in the UK. If a cop was sent to an accident it is likely nearby officers would be aware of it. it would also be in their computer system, so if the idiot posting this fake fml had reported the accident it would have been in their system and the cop would have known what was up.
ScreamToday 0
Yeah, you're an idiot. Cops don't arrest you on suspicion. They give you a sobriety test first. This is fake. Next time, you should try harder, and maybe we'll believe it.
jivealive_5 0
Ahhh this is such a fake FML!! The busted lip would have been clear enough evidence for why you couldn't talk coherently and you sure wouldn't get arrested on suspicion of drinking... Omg seriously when will people stop writing such BS?!
ericavel 0
I call shenanigans.
Archaik 0
Do we get to go and get our brooms now?