Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML
Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, it was my first driving lesson. I was so bad, the police stopped me and accused me of being drunk, because I almost crashed into the pole in front of them. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML
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Top comments
Jankae 0
LOLL, wait but I don't get how you can't talk properly just cause your lip is swollen a bit
_Noon_ 0
That sucks. But a test would immediately prove you didn't drink, so it's not that bad?
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Comments (96)
Jankae 0
LOLL, wait but I don't get how you can't talk properly just cause your lip is swollen a bit
coloradodude12 0
This is true. Even if an officer saw a person with a speech impediment, they have no real evidence for arresting him/her because they're drunk. It's easy to speak without moving your bottom lip. Also, wouldn't the officer ask you to take a sobriety test? In conclusion: FAKE. (Why? My brother's a cop)
WisemanGarrett 0
You should pay more attention to detail. This guy is from the UK. Their laws differ from ours.
noName123456 0
well then ydi for living in a country where officers don't need hard evidence to arrest you, also ydi for making a fake FML
Kiwi_Splash 0
Yes, it has happened to me once and I could barely talk. When you bust a lip it gets so swollen that you can't even move your lips to speak properly. It took a while till the speech impediment wore off. The lips are one of the most sensitive parts in the human body, so I don't find it surprising.
Ox_Baker 0
Even in a backwards nation like England, you can't arrest someone for having a speech impediment. There is absolutely no way this is a real FML unless he actually were drunk.
platinumrain 0
Actually in the UK police do breath tests on portable machines. In the US they just make you walk a line and touch your nose...
mermermer 0
LOL ya this FML is fake. -if his lip was really busted after a car rear ended him (lolwut? how does this happen?) then it'd be serious enough to warrant a police report, before he even begins driving home -you cant be arrested under "suspicion" and an officer would be able to tell that you have busted lip, rather than randomly assuming you're drunk LOL nice try.. can we get some real FMLs now??
cucuto89 0
ITs fake cause he woulda had to talk to the guy who hit him.
kewlcat 0
platniumrain i think they do that everywhere...
signalarmywife 0
Where I've lived in the U.S. they use breathalyzers. Not just the "walk the line" and "touch your nose" method. And I've lived ALL over the U.S.
lexiBRo 0
And were you pulled over for suspicious of drunk driving in every US city you lived in? ??? If not, the fact that you have lived all over the country is irrelevant.
bbobe900000 0
maybe he just knows the laws of the states he lives in. because he's SMART. but I doubt they use breathalyzers in every state...
divineinstrument 2
I live in the UK, and I know that this would never happen. If they pull you over for something, they will ALWAYS do a breathalyzer test, and then arrest you or not based on the result of the test. No such thing as "suspicion" of drink-driving when you can prove it in a few seconds. I'm not saying that the OP made this up though. He just phrased it completley wrong. He definitely didn't get arrested on suspicion of drink-driving, but they may have suspected him off drink-driving and tested him, which is kind of a hassle. Still that wouldn't be a big deal, because OP would take a breathlyzer test, pass, and then drive away.
Virginiasfinest 0
Actually- they do. The tests run are called the SFSTs (look it up online), which stands for Standardized Field Sobriety Tests. They're a nationwide (so obviously I'm only speaking to those in the US- I cant say anything for other countries) set of tests in which all departments must use. Its literally a check sheet of acceptable tests to run, 3 required and a few optional, and a spot for the results of either a breath test or a blood test (depending on cooperation). It doesnt matter what state you live in (as someone mentioned before, it's the same for ALL states), but if you live in a po-dunk little town where breathalyzers are scarce, the difference might be they might be able to lawfully detain you under suspicion of intoxicated driving (but you have to show signs on the other tests, which wouldnt show if you were sober), and take you into a station where they have a machine. If you're not drunk after the PBT (preliminary breath test), then they will tell you to drive safely, and return you to your vehicle. If you are drunk, they'll arrest you if you're above the legal limit and have your car towed.
lexiBRo 0
In Florida.. where I live. If you refuse the breathalyzer when pulled over that immediately allows them to take you into custody. If the OP was not cooperating with them and too busy trying to explain his case they may have taken that as a refusal to take the breathalyzer at which point they can arrest him WITHOUT CHECKING HIS BAC...
Archaik 0
Having some background with law enforcement I call shenanigans. There has to be more to the story. So I guess we all need to grab our brooms.
WeeGee_fml 0
you guys are bein stupid his lip was SWOLLEN not "ripped off" 1. I don't think (I think I misspelled) a crash from behind could rip your lip off 2.if you've ever had an allergic reaction on your lips you'd know how hard it if to get out. a sentence let alone 1 word 3.he could have been taking into custody because he was to busy trying to explain to the cop (who I have concluded to be worse that Paul Blart) to relize or let the cop speak long enough to get him to take the test. this is not fake you guys are just to lazy to use the brain god gave you. and no not having an instruction booklet is not an excuse
gman90210 18
And the field sobriety test would show you not drunk. Unless you were and didnt tell us that part
_Noon_ 0
That sucks. But a test would immediately prove you didn't drink, so it's not that bad?
Anonanimal 0
its not like your tongue was swollen, i think youz a liar
Bobinthebutt 0
They didnt give you a breathalyzer? That sucks, FYL.
llaawwll 0
So fake. Even if your lip was completely ripped off you could be easily understood. Also, you'd have blood all over your face if your lip was that bad to begin with.
keeeever 0
i don't think so, i just tried to talk without moving my bottom lip, simulating it not being there and let me assure you, it is not an easy task.
_Noon_ 0
Haha, I think you just made a whole lot of people from all over the world try the same thing. I did, and you're right, it's not easy :|
genius_man16 1
You can move your bottom lip. He said it was ripped off, not that your jaw suddenly stops working. The only things you couldn't say with a ripped off lip are the letters B, F, M, P, V, and W I'm gonna agree. Fake. Not only that, but it's illegal to arrest someone for "drunk driving' without giving them a breathalizer (sp?) test. Not to mention the fact that if you /really/ couldn't talk for whatever reason it would be obvious as to why.
Amphysvena 11
worstpersonalive are you assuming they don't use breathalyzers in the UK? just saying.
F3RRyT 0
Keeeever and noon fyl if you cant talk to the point it sounds like complete jibberish when trying to not move your lips. maybe i'm talented and should look into ventriloquism or something, but I don't find it at all difficult to speak quite understandably without hardly moving my lips or jaw. Most sounds are made with your tongue not your jaw or lips.
WeeGee_fml 0
you guys are bein stupid his lip was SWOLLEN not "ripped off" 1. I don't think (I think I misspelled) a crash from behind could rip your lip off 2.if you've ever had an allergic reaction on your lips you'd know how hard it if to get out. a sentence let alone 1 word 3.he could have been taking into custody because he was to busy trying to explain to the cop (who I have concluded to be worse that Paul Blart) to relize or let the cop speak long enough to get him to take the test. this is not fake you guys are just to lazy to use the brain god gave you. and no not having an instruction booklet is not an excuse
gman90210 18
Finally someone who understands how speech works. Unless you try to yell then most people do not move thier lips to talk or an actor who needs to make every sound when speeking
TheHardwick3 7
If I could talk with my top lip ripped in half to the point where it needed surgery then anyone can talk with a busted lip
Unlucky_Gun 0
Wow, I just "llaawwlld" at your comment. Please tell me your kidding. If you aren't then your stupid
seriouslyFML1 0
im calling bullfuckery....they would give you some type of test...and they'd be able to tell....you suck at FML....liar
yellowflashlight 0
your lips swelled up that fast? and i doubt the cop would arrest you that quickly unless you seemed crazy drunk while you were trying to talk...
cha40_fml 0
it doesnt take much time for a lip to swell
loooooooooool_fml 1
Wait, no test? Is that even legal?
Einstein714 0
ydi for not making an accident report
seb12992 0
Where does it say he didn't make one? #9 just proved why he's the biggest idiot on this site.
SKYblue_fml 1
Says Einstein...
Nightfallz 0
I'm gonna call fake on this one. if a car "just bumps" you I seriously doubt you busted your lip so bad that you couldn't talk right. also the police can't arrest you because of slurred speech. they have to do the drunk test. and most cops have portable breathalizers nowadays.
avoidthegirl 6
You'd be surprised what a slow moving car can do. My boyfriend was rear-ended at a stop light by a guy doing maybe 15mph and he got severe whiplash.
Emberlin 0
Agreed...I was in a car that was rear-ended in a parking lot and I was the only one wearing a seat belt and I had to get stitches on my face. It was funny but kind of embarrassing