Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
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Top comments
WearingHats 14
At least it was empty.
ginnygoggorgon 3
Reconsider your word choices when breaking up with future girlfriends lol
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Comments (110)
amoresperros_fml 4
I've known many guys who use that excuse to break up with their gf's and a few weeks later, " I have a lot on my plate" translates to " I want to date other people". Assholes.
Metthew 15
What's wrong with dating other people? Can't he? Must he be together with the same person his whole life?
ellytoad 13
If you want to fix something that isn't broken, at least be honest about it. What a waste of time for their partners. If only they'd known they were with an easily-bored compulsive dater.
carminecris89 13
81 It's not that dating other people is the problem, it's that he won't just say simply that. It would save girls a lot of heartache if guys were more blunt and honest. It's better to say that you're just not that into someone, or that you would rather date other people, then oh there's a lot on my plate. Girls know it's bullshit, but don't know the real reason.
angeluv_2014 22
That's the funniest shit ever!! You lost a good one bro...
iBlamethetruth 9
I dont get why this has so many 'YDIs'. People DO break up, it's part of life!
AngelusCaedo 3
Why all the YDI votes. She sounds like she's a stressful girl to be with, maybe he's got other things going on and putting up with her crap might be too much.
gregkingsley 4
I like her style ,what's her number ?
channy8cc 3
g
Kristoffer 35
How the hell is it this guy's fault that he wanted to break up with this psycho? Despite what the majority has voted, you do NOT deserve it.
nachosbabygurl 9
next breakup choose your words more carefully
Dixbfloppin 11
I swear it's like on every FML that begins with, "Today, I broke up with my girlfriend/boyfriend…" people have to hit the YDI button. Obviously he had to do it, he had no other choice.
DogStew 20
breaking up with her was a very good call!