Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML
Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
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Top comments
tacos_are_good 8
How could you not notice that? o.o
Demonfish 14
Hey, you should be thanking your cat, he's been dutifully carrying out selfless acts of pest control, just for you. Your cat is a real hero, you know..
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Comments (86)
doompickle 3
seventh!
tacos_are_good 8
How could you not notice that? o.o
spaboolly 26
For weeks no less.... After having frequent ant invasions for years in my old house, I still meticulously inspect every black dot I see, moving or otherwise. I don't know how anyone could not notice that, especially if they were sleeping in the bed.
deBlobX 12
I would freak if I found that shit in my bed
chatoyant_fml 12
@2 exactly my thought, it's kind of hard to miss. I guess op's cat did a pretty good job
airforce987 20
2 - because OP's cat was getting rid of them all.
kittytub 12
2- this hits close to home for me, I spent last night on the couch as my room is infested with ants right now. :/ I didn't really see them until it was too late because my carpet is dark, as my room is. plus they stuck mostly to the ground and didn't go up on my white furniture until two days ago. just my personal experience, I don't know how op is. and to op; spray them with Windex! it kills them immediately and wipes their scent trail.
LiterOfCola 16
And then you ate them all, 45?
ohcheriecherie 20
My math book was infested with ants once. I took it home to do math and ants crawled over my whole room but they didn't stay there. Turned out my whole locker was full of ants
decidedlyvague 11
At least someone is cleaning your room.
OhAidan 7
Why buy ant killer? You have a cat!
Demonfish 14
Hey, you should be thanking your cat, he's been dutifully carrying out selfless acts of pest control, just for you. Your cat is a real hero, you know..
EpicSquishii 21
At least they haven't been bothering you. You've shared space companionably up til now, I see no reason to change that just because you now know that they're there
capslockisgood 19
Doesn't mean that they won't take over the pillow, then the rest of the bed, then slowly invade the rest of the house, then the world. Still think its no big deal?
xXSkullCarlosXx 11
"The Walling Ants" Season 1 - Episode 1: How the **** do I shoot them???
Cainicide 5
Walking ants? I appreciate the attempt. :)
EpicSquishii 21
I was being sarcastic.... -_-' **** me :/ I'm such shit at conveying sarcasm
GoddamnBatman 7
Maybe you didn't notice because kitty was licking them all up. You should thank your cat.
liv_graham 7
Don't eat in bed...
trollfaced 2
She's been having sex on the bed. Sperm attracts ants
deegeebee 10
:| Well, that's definitely one fact I didn't need to know.
MrsDruidess 23
. . . cause thays how you get ants ;-)
Pleonasm 36
You shouldn't be getting antsy at your cat for a problem, even if it bugs you. You're here pestering your cat and you didn't even notice the real cause that's nesting in your bed.
SuiGeneris01 2
This comment is so much win!
greenie213 23
That ant good!
greenie213 23
That awkward moment when the person right before you posted a better pun than yours.
santel_fml 8
You need to get checked for diabetes.
Posthuman 26
Because ants are a sure sign that you're diabetic
Pleonasm 36
Didn't you hear, Posthuman? That's how they test you for diabetes these days.
Axipiter 24
Just look for the stockier ant with the white moustache. He's probably the one that'll give you the diabetus.