Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
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Top comments
fifi125 21
Superglue them all shut and then see how much she needs you!
Steve95401 49
She will also miss your ability to reach things on the top shelf.
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Comments (119)
Steve95401 49
She will also miss your ability to reach things on the top shelf.
rivaraven 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because we totally know how tall she is and how tall he is. She might be taller, than him.
liquifiednate 21
Gee, I bet you're a fun person to be around 52 -_-
purelymixed 17
52s probably vertically challenged
twerking_riggs 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
uh no 52 is right we dont know how tall they are. -_-
WhoopteDo 26
You're right 68, just like you and 52 don't know what a joke is.
amandalynn84 14
Wow, what a bunch of assholes you guys are. Thumbs down in 3, 2, 1...and go.
rivaraven 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Amazing community here.
doctorhook86 25
#78: Yeah it kinda is, as long as you only aim your snark at the truly obnoxious comments. ...Yours was kinda obnoxious.
fifi125 21
Superglue them all shut and then see how much she needs you!
mellajella 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But then how would he open them?
niallo 23
He won't have to. He won't be there.
mellajella 14
And when she wants him back to open jars he won't be able too and she will break up with him again.
jerryj 27
He may not come back. But she may come to him and bring the jars for him to open. What then?
liquifiednate 21
Slam the door in her face.
doctorhook86 25
#49: I'm going to invent a Smart Jar-Opener that unscrews even the toughest jar lids, but only if the FB account you logged onto it with says you're in a relationship. Patent pending.
Eyeslick 33
#82 Where do I sign up?
doctorhook86 25
#90: I'll be putting together a Kickstarter with the OP's exgf. Email her for details!
cantik20 5
Oooo.... Evil?. I love that. While you at it, put everything in high places she can't reach.
iShanny 13
Guess she confirmed that you made the right decision. Hope you find someone more appreciative OP!
alex_the_tiger 14
Good thing she is your ex-girlfriend. Now it's time to find someone who actually appreciates you.
vikky538 29
I hope that's your last unappreciation from her...sorry OP...
Yeliabish 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is exactly how I'd respond ?
Blue_Black_fml 21
This is exactly how a bitch would respond.
doctorhook86 25
#6: You'd respond with a statement that ends in a question mark? Because that's just shitty writing.
UH60 26
Good riddance.
nhbasskid13 23
you deserve better than her, if that's how she responded to your breakup, she's an absolute bitch, and deserves an asshole fot a boyfriend. Lord knows there's a ton of those.
a1_z9 10
Well she was in the process of being dumped, if any situation is going to make someone want to say something spiteful, that's probably it.
Willibobs 33
Unless she had genuine feelings for him? You don't have to be a bitch just because somebody doesn't want to be with you...
klutzyduck1 24
You're getting dumped. What is she supposed to say, "please don't leave me" or "thank you"? I had a guy break up with me, in person, with lots of nice things to say. And at the end I said, "ok. You've made your decision. Nothing I say is going to change it. Please leave". So I could cry in private. He told me years later, he was hurt by that response and that his mind could have been changed. So boys, is this a testing move? A chance to stroke your ego? It's a break-up, expect the person to be upset and move on.
doctorhook86 25
#54: Males often don't feel at all free to discuss their feelings, even (especially?) with their gfs. Some guys don't even know how, even if they try. So a dude who is unhappy in a relationship might try to end things just because he's trying to signal his dissatisfaction without seeming vulnerable. He was hoping you understood and cared enough to want to fix things. It's a bad strategy for a relationship, but it comes from real socialization pressures.
doctorhook86 25
#84: Y'all can downvote all you want, I'm just saying that's the truth for some guys.
tac0609 13
I used to have a girlfriend like that... It's not worth it anyways.
SideOfTheAngels 23
Seems you made the right decision - still it must hurt a fair bit. It's cliche, but there'll definitely be someone better. Chin up :)
SMHsohard 22
As the late, great Robin Williams said, "Yes, it's a cliché. But clichés work because they're true."