Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
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Top comments
Nonibird 6
Maybe marrying someone who will throw bowls of food at you in a restaurant for anything less than a genuine verbal or physical assault is a bad idea. I mean, unless you want to be abused for the rest of your life, I mean, whatever you want.
Ashle1gh 14
She should have commented on how you had food all over you.
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Comments (159)
Ashle1gh 14
She should have commented on how you had food all over you.
enonymous 9
I can't wait until he tells her that she has some of the cake frosting on her face.
FarSide 23
Maybe it was a piece of scorching Szechuan pork. Can't imagine what would cause a woman to stomp out an entire restaurant.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Next time, let her keep it on her mouth and she can bitch you out for not telling her! There's really no winning with chicks sometimes.
fanceh 10
did this "comment" go something like, "hey ******, wipe the shit off your mouth. you're embarrassing me...?" or something like that?
LiveLaughFML 10
if you're still going to marry her, i can picture you two thirty years from now. "hey, honey, you have a bit of chowder on your upper lip." she'll respond with how you gave her the wrost 30 years of her life and then pour the hot chowder on you. D:
Daralea 21
I'm with fanceh on this one. suspicious about the word "comment"
SirObvious 1
Oh btw she's pregnant
Jennyboo5797 4
In 6th grade my teacher was pregnant, I never paid attention in her class, that bitch threw carrots and wheat thins at me for half the year >:o
Pixxio_O 11
"you have something on your upper lip, oh never mind, it's just your moustache honey"
candyaddict54 3
Shouldn't she get arrested for that???
TaylorSaysMoo 4
81- don't complain, free food right there! And op, you're marrying a crazy lady. And not the good kind either
Neopets_dot_com 0
It's that time of a month again; bitch personalities appear left and right. FYL OP.
megaaann_fml 9
17: Not necessarily. I mean, if that was me, I'd be laughing about it, I wouldn't go all pissy and crack the *****. And I'm sure there's plenty of women who would do the same thing. :)
MyHandIsADolphin 0
Anger management?
unfortunate_13 5
don't judge too soon, we don't know how he said it. "bitch, there's food around your mouth. don't eat like a child" would have had me running out of the restaurant too.
FarSide 23
And we never will know. So we assume whatever we want.
agoth 0
I think it's funny that you say don't assume but then don't take it at face value.
Gfrigo 1
It sounds like it's that time of the month.
mxpklx 12
It's like that game where you have to choose whether you want your girlfriend to be sane, smart, and beautiful. But you can only choose two. We all know what you obviously chose...
transcedental 18
It's must've been one heck of a comment, eh
Poopolicious 5
Well if you guys are engaged and it's probably not the first time it has happened... Deal with it or break it off ...
flamegrilled123 3
Bitch you got some shit around your mouth clean it off or I'll beat you again
RockRoll 0
Then again, if she was this livid over something as stupid as food being around her mouth (And I might add, props to OP for being nice enough to spare her the embarrassment and/or blackmail) you never know how she'd react if he broke off the engagement.....
penelopecruise 2
Don't walk, RUN! Do not marry this crazy bitch
Nonibird 6
Maybe marrying someone who will throw bowls of food at you in a restaurant for anything less than a genuine verbal or physical assault is a bad idea. I mean, unless you want to be abused for the rest of your life, I mean, whatever you want.
aeshleyrose 6
My literal exact thought. It always shocks me to hear what people think is acceptable behavior. That's gonna be a great marriage, let me tell you. And we haven't even thought about their extremely lucky future kids! Doormats + psychos = ****** up kids.
maj28 0
this marriage is gonna be awesome, lots of good FMLs to come!
abasio 1
Exactly! And if you're marrying her for her looks, remember they will change quicker than her personality will.
perdix 31
This is going to be a great marriage! I'm such an idiot!!! I should have become a divorce lawyer -- I could have been rolling around in money and pussy all day!
evildemonchild 18
hahahahaha this comment is epic win x3
zeldaxlove64_fml 0
Wow... Really
megaaann_fml 9
That is a GREAT idea. I might just know what I want to be when I grow up now.
keven501 12
Yes
DogmaT_fml 4
she preggers
FarSide 23
Or just her period. She'll be back in 4-5 days, and hungry for more Chinese food.
ManicGypsy 22
I agree, she's got a bun in the oven.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
Not to be mean or anything but what the **** does "a bun in the oven mean"?
juventis 16
It means she's pregnant
DjeePee 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tss, OP, you forgot to mention that she stomped out of the restaurant because she needed to put her tampon back in.
rmcke93 0
That made no sense
EnEl_Infierno 15
Ydi, You should of kissed it off her Op. I know it sounds gross but it would of saved her the embarrassment and you would of gained points for being romantic.
guitgod1 11
gross...honey let me eat that noodle off of your face? blegh
DjeePee 25
Embarressement? Since when is having some food around your mouth during dinner something to be ashamed of? Romantic? Since when is it romantic to lick the food from your partners mouth away (face it, the food will not disappear by a kiss)? They weren't in their bedroom, but in a probably full restaurant.
EnEl_Infierno 15
#44 Not embarrassing cause she had food around her mouth but because op called her on it that's probably why she got so upset, and I'm betting it wasn't a huge noddle or something when have you ever seen someone with other than crumpet around their mouth, he either shouldn't have said anything gently wiped it for her or taken my original advice if he's going to get married he needs to learn when he should learn what he should say and when to take advantage of a potential romantic or good points situation. which can be the difference between a face full if noddles or evening delight. But what do I know I'm single.
BadKitty13 28
Can you say B*I*T*C*H ????? totally uncalled for ... you may want to rethink marrying her ?? hey just sayin..
overthelimit 3
she sounds a little insecure o.O
olpally 33
A little?? She just acted like a 10 year old... Very immature is more like it.... Just sayin..