Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WearingHats 14
At least it was empty.
ginnygoggorgon 3
Reconsider your word choices when breaking up with future girlfriends lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
khildebrand2294 9
Tht sucks bro!! Tho no offense, the irony of tht is hilarious.
Fatmangotmypie1 7
Well that's just...... Smashing
khildebrand2294 9
Ah ha! I see what u did there!
Cainicide 5
"I agree, you do have a lot on your plate..." "YOUR BLOOD!"
shysassychic 1
Oh my god. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. You really deserved that though watch your similes next time... I'm dying of laughter. 1 point for the ex
StalkerChick 13
you should've hit her with the bus driver uppercut.
unknown_user5566 27
I can't really blame her. Next time you decide to break up with someone, you should probably give a better reason than "I've got a lot on my plate". Those cliche break-up lines never turn out well.
Sai_Run614 7
You dodged a lot. She has some issues she needs to work out.
SkoomaKi 28
What did that plate ever do to her? Some people these days.
goodgood_fml 5
Next time just dump her and say 'because I said so'. I'd rather deal with an asshole instead of a bullshitter.
MolesterStallone 13
And she just had a plate ready to spare?