Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
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Top comments
WearingHats 14
At least it was empty.
ginnygoggorgon 3
Reconsider your word choices when breaking up with future girlfriends lol
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Comments (110)
WearingHats 14
At least it was empty.
OhAidan 7
Probably broken...
Pleonasm 36
Yea, I heard the plate took the split real hard, I think he's cracking up, the poor guy.
Pleonasm 36
I asked him how he felt about the break-up, and he was in pieces over it. He doesn't want to be shelf-ish but he says it's better off just the him and OP; that China girl is no good for him and was the sauce(r) of all his problems.
Inheritance 10
Hopefully it wasn't china.
walmartpaysme 15
Well... At least she was creative about it.
allie2590 31
It would've been far funnier if it was a heaping plate of spaghetti though.
christyxbee 15
And another one to my favorites!
AKGirlinSD 20
If I was OP, I would have thanked her for taking "psycho" off my plate after what she just did.
5150chaos 7
Problem solved!!! Your plate is now empty!!! Lol
taintedayush 0
Seems like she is mad
WhyAmUHere 19
You don't say?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Nah, she's good.
ebdeadaccount 11
Was this comment supposed to be a pun?
ManInTheMachine 20
Mad? No, of course not! Haven't you heard? Plate throwing is a new way of saying you love someone. Why give a friend a hug when you can throw a plate! Sex? Nah, just get some fine china and have at it!
Werken247 14
I'm thinking he shouldn't be forking around with a girl like that anyways, and spooning afterwards... out of the question.
Codezlol 21
Well thank god it wasn't a pie. Politicians in Canada like to throw pie when they get angry at eachother, such a waste of delicious pie :(
astralvagan 20
No shit Sherlock!
ginnygoggorgon 3
Reconsider your word choices when breaking up with future girlfriends lol
Werken247 14
I have a lot on my tissue.... nah, sounds like he just rubbed one out.
lottievaughn 5
It's not me, it's you. :throws female sheep at windshield: Ooh silly homonyms...
xponia 8
Sounds like you made the right choice considering she doesn't understand metaphors.
onlychildFTW 34
She also doesn't understand how not to be crazy. Why is everyone saying YDI? FHL because she's crazy and he probably needs a new windshield.
LemonandLime 13
No, I think she DOES understand metaphors but chose to have revenge that related to his reason of braking up with her. There's nothing about the fml which says she doesn't understand.
Kristoffer 35
And the point is she's psycho for wanting to have revenge AT ALL for him breaking up with her, much less such a revenge that caused significant property damage.
allie2590 31
And now you have another thing on your plate!
enormouselephant 15
Or another plate on his car...
obnum 19
Actually it looks like doesn't even have a plate anymore. ;)
jjohnson26559 1
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C? -Bo burhnam
gc327072 31
"That was terrible." -gc327072
jjohnson26559 1
I'm sure if more people knew the song, it would be more accepted.
AH1Zviper 15
Helicopter concurs with license plate.
brewmasterg 34
8/54- I'm a Bo Burnham fan and I still think you're dumb. Maybe try something that wasn't created by someone else next time.
amyrules99 7
I admit that might have been going too far, but that was still pretty clever on her part!
MURIKKA 11
Were you doing a drive by breakup?
Ugi 27
I can only see this as a lucky escape for you - she sounds deranged.
SApprentice 34
That's not really an appropriate reaction. I'm assuming you didn't really care too much about her, since you broke up with her, so it's all for the best. It's better not to be with someone who turns to violence.
dohdohdoh 13
Unless she's a really hot nymphomaniac.
monkeyy22 6
Because ya know, obviously healthy relationships are about sex and sex only. That's how it works. /s