sting
Valencia, United States
Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Username
United States
Creepy
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Anonymous
Pincushion
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
flipflap
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Welcome to Florida
Psssssych!
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
sting
Winds of change
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Anonymous
Elk Grove, United States
Slasher
Today, I made some burritos when a photo frame fell and smashed over my pan. I'm pretty broke so I thought I got all the glass out of the meat and ate some. I reheated the meat for dinner too and well, I found the glass that time... FML
Anonymous
I'm outta here
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
Anonymous
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Anonymous
Spider-man
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Top comments
colton_colton 50
You will once you sit down
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I wouldn't be able to sleep... I hope you can find them. Look in quiet dark places and don't stick your hands anywhere you can't see!
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Comments (133)
unicornluver3173 13
Shhh child. Go to sleep.
maddieex 14
You deserved it for having pet scorpions
that_one_guy423 11
Are they large or small?
808andheartbreak 16
Ydi. Why would you get scorpions in the first place..
LostInTheZone11 29
If they have not molted recently, get a black light. They will glow. If they have molted recently, they won't.
ohSNAPyall 27
This seems like a risk you run when har boring pet scorpions. Not saying you deserve it, but you probably need a contingency plan.
mattrd_fml 31
You have "pet" scorpions?? ydi
Calingaladha 21
Maybe they were stolen. You know, arachnicked.
Etweens96 25
I don't mean to be rude but they aren't pets. Pets are something you can pick up, cuddle and love. A set of deadly as hell scorpions aren't pets!
WarriorOmen 25
People keep all kinds of crazy things as pets. Snakes, tarantula's, hermit crabs. Just cos it's not cuddly doesn't mean it's not a pet to some people.
Etweens96 25
Yeah but something you fear isn't a pet. My parents knew a guy who had scorpions and he was afraid of them. He one day decided to unseperate their tank so they could mate. Turns out they were males and.... It didn't end well.
WarriorOmen 25
Agreed. But it seems to me that OP isn't scared of them, but worried about them being loose. Maybe they live with someone that isn't keen on scorpions.
kenzie_gauche 12
I have a pet hermit crab because that's my birth sign
WarriorOmen 25
Dawww! How cute!!
Etweens96 25
Hermit crabs are cool, I once knew one named mini
flv88 14
YDI for having pet scorpions.