Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
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Top comments
DogStew 20
My girlfriend lets me fart all I want, and provides plentiful hummers. Everyone tells me to never let her go. I agree; I’m going to marry her.
Sady_Ct 38
Farting is normal, not farting is not normal. He is still farting, just not around you. Don’t be so selfish.
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Comments (13)
Sady_Ct 38
Farting is normal, not farting is not normal. He is still farting, just not around you. Don’t be so selfish.
RichardPencil 32
No, she's right. Asking him to fart away from her is a reasonable request, and what she's paying for that makes it an excellent deal. Assuming her ******** aren't so boring they put you to sleep.
Ambrily 27
That was a different woman lol
Sady_Ct 38
The way it’s written, sounds like he’s not farting at all, and that’s where I was saying she is being selfish. I showed my boyfriend this FML as he sometimes tries to fart away from me and at other times just farts where he chooses.
TCRII 30
There were 69 YDI’s when I read this FML. Maybe that is your solution...
DogStew 20
My girlfriend lets me fart all I want, and provides plentiful hummers. Everyone tells me to never let her go. I agree; I’m going to marry her.
WistayShlaio82 13
You’re gonna **** up his stomach.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hey, you agreed to it, so suck it (up), swallow (your pride), and blow him like you promised. If you want to back out of your deal, may I suggest buying some air freshener?
ojoRojo 27
You brought this upon yourself, my dear. Sucks for you! ;)
AmbrosiaFan 19
lol he's farting just not doing it around you. you need to get over it, when you are married you share EVERYTHING
kujiens101 24
To all the commenters, how much do you people fart?!? You can’t just not make the air around your girl smell putrid?? Is that so much to ask? Y’all need to see a doctor if it is