Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
I can just picture what the mice were thinking " Holy crap, guys, we're free! Quick, somebody find the button that opens the window so we can all escape!"
julfunky 29
We’ve had our snake’s dinner escape in the car before. It wasn’t an easy task to fetch the poor guy from under the car seat. Peering under the seat and seeing his two little eyes staring back at me terrified tore me up.
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Comments (34)
Emma Marshall 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's illegal to feed live mice to snakes?
InsanityShard 23
Not in all states/countries. Here in Australia for example I can give life fish of any kind to turtles, and all the pet stores around here sell live crickets and other bugs for reptiles.
julfunky 29
... Is that a question or a statement? As the other person already stated it depends on where you live. Side note: Many snakes will not eat dead prey, heated or not. Live is sometimes necessary.
rebeccabyram 15
My cousin has a pet snake and she gives it baby mice (pinkies)
interesting33 37
I don't know why you've been downloaded... because of a typo that does not detract from your meaning? In the UK it is illegal to feed live mice to snakes. I am less clear on the US
interesting33 37
*downvoted! Darn this no editing rule!
IrieStorm 9
Not in the US. Some snakes actually won't take frozen-thawed or even pre-killed, my ball python was like that. I was in the process of weaning her off of live rodents when my sister set her free.
Glowworm56 27
I can just picture what the mice were thinking " Holy crap, guys, we're free! Quick, somebody find the button that opens the window so we can all escape!"
manb91uk 22
Well at least it wasn't the pet
bigmeechay666 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I’ve had a snake, they only need to eat every 2-3 weeks. Meaning you probably only had like 1 or 2 mice in the box. Meaning you saying “all over my car” is blowing it way out of proportion. And for being a little cry baby that makes up shit to get attention on FML... you deserve it.
Eheath12Jheath14 8
unless they buy in bulk, like Sam's Club.
Ali Alexandrea 16
ah, the classic 'i had some experience of this at one time in my life so now I'm a super condescending self proclaimed expert on the subject', that old chestnut.
RichardPencil 32
Run, Mickey! Run, Minnie! Run, Mighty! Run, Stuart! Run, Jerry!! It’s a trap! You’re all gonna die!
RichardPencil 32
Are you heartless bastards rooting for the ******* snake?
Glowworm56 27
Hey, Kaa's gotta eat too, you know!
Lobby_Bee 18
I'm sure glad my snake doesn't eat mice, he eats cats. lol
Spiritbird 17
Tie the snake to your steering wheel and then proceed to collect the mice from your car without any fuss. You can use this idea every time this happens. You're welcome. :)
weeping_willow 25
Oh man, I’ve been in this situation before. Minus being rear ended. I have two ball pythons. I had ten at one point. (Re-homed the other 8, they’re all alive and thriving). Six of them ate mice, four of them ate rats. The mice had to be in two separate boxes so they wouldn’t go insane and eat each other before I got home. And the rats all had to be in individual boxes for the same reason.
julfunky 29
We’ve had our snake’s dinner escape in the car before. It wasn’t an easy task to fetch the poor guy from under the car seat. Peering under the seat and seeing his two little eyes staring back at me terrified tore me up.
Llama Bobulas 9
Well no shit.................................. how the **** would you feel being someones dinner...
julfunky 29
No shit no shit. You think I don’t know why a mouse hides?
Lobby_Bee 18
Poor mice, escape from a smaller cage only to find themselves in a bigger cage.
Madrias 36
Well, some people would take that as an opportunity to have a hissy fit. That said, I'm sure the mice are okay.