Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Creepy
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Pincushion
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Psssssych!
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Winds of change
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Slasher
Today, I made some burritos when a photo frame fell and smashed over my pan. I'm pretty broke so I thought I got all the glass out of the meat and ate some. I reheated the meat for dinner too and well, I found the glass that time... FML
I'm outta here
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Spider-man
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Top comments
colton_colton 50
You will once you sit down
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I wouldn't be able to sleep... I hope you can find them. Look in quiet dark places and don't stick your hands anywhere you can't see!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
DocBastard 40
To me a pet is cute and cuddly. If you asked me to make a list of 1000 adjectives describing scorpions, "cute" and "cuddly" would NOT appear on it.
Llama_Face89 34
Oh shit! Doc is back! O.o
quickit 24
Don't ask questions. Just run.
jelrid 30
Ooh, shocking!
Algorithm 24
I wish people would consider some of the stuff they say about other peoples' animals, even if they wouldn't personally own them. I have friends who love their snakes and tarantulas, and the amount of people who'll outright say shit like "ugh, I'd step on your pet" is awful. How would they feel if someone said that when they introduced their dogs? I'm sorry, OP. :( I hope you find your pets soon.
guinea_pigs 9
I think people only say that kind of stuff about animals that can possibly hurt them and are dangerous, they're not trying to offend the owner, they're just scared of their pets, which I think is totally understandable. Maybe pet owners should be more aware of how having dangerous animals can affect the people they show it to.
smokecloud_ 37
You can't say you'd step on a big dog and they are capable of injuring/killing people. While I prefer fluffy and cuddly, I've had everything from cats and dogs to rodents to reptiles and amphibians. I'm personally icked out by insects and arachnids, but I'd never tell the owner of one that I'd intentionally try to kill it. I'd prefer to respect their choice and stay away from it, just as I understand not everyone will like my dog and keep him away from people unless they request to interact with him.
liv421 2
I see it in a very different way. I don't agree with the "if someone wants to own a [whatever animal] they damn well can". Pets are supposed to be domesticated animals and we can't just start taking whatever wild animals we like and decide to keep them as pets. A scorpion, for example, should not be kept as a pet - imagine in this situation, for example, they escape and, say, find their way to an unsuspecting neighbor's house. While some species' venom may not kill, it could be fatal for children. Animals that are venomous need to be in care of people who are qualified to deal with them, both for their own best interest and safety of those around them. This is just another way for us to satisfy our selfishness, thinking that we can take these animals from their natural habitats to keep them as trophies for our own enjoyment. These animals don't belong in glass boxes.
PSYqualiac 17
83, to an extent, all animals can be domesticated. The question shouldn't be can we, but should we. If you train and tame any animal, it will act nice and loving, even the scariest looking of them. But some animals are dangerous if they get scared, angry, or in pain. The scorpions are probably scared right now. If a dog was scared, it would run from people or attack to avoid threats getting near it. The dog is easily just as big of a threat because it can do more physical damage, where as an antivenom can fix most of the damage from a scorpion sting. Not all animals should be pets, but there's nothing saying scorpions shouldn't be a pet.
HyunnK 18
? You train animals to act that way. Horses use to be wild until we trained ourselves how to "catc them.
i_needa_username 17
Shit
thief1434 23
Are they poisonous or...?
renrioku 15
No, there is not one poisonous scorpion on Earth.
val_is_lame97 12
lol
PSYqualiac 17
*venomous There is a BIG difference.
hippodankamus 22
I'd like to buy a ticket for the Nope Train bound for FuckThatShitVille
missreader 14
hope you find them soon. i personaly would not keep poisonous animals as pets.
renrioku 15
Scorpions aren't poisonous
brand125 17
theyre venomous
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Poison is ingested, venom is injected. (That's how that goes, right? I think so...)
val_is_lame97 12
well time to move out
ironhead_fml 20
That's a stinging situation.