Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
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Top comments
thesunsetglow_fml 8
You should have peed on him.
rofflewaffle 9
Hopefully you're just a grower, not a shower. At least you don't go around looking at other dudes' dicks like that kid.
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Comments (107)
thesunsetglow_fml 8
You should have peed on him.
crabgass 3
kids say the darndest things
shiv0323 0
im a kid and they are really imature
ayleyyasuko 0
he was probably going to say that to anyone who was in there no matter what their junk size was. babyteen kids think that stuff is funny. no worries, OP. if nothing else, your wife probably thinks you have a bombastic personality despite your Weimar.
Alzied 0
No he shoulda grabbed him by the back of his head, inserted his mini penis into his mouth, and finished peeing.
chelsea2388 0
wow lol
FAILml 7
47- my friend's father did that to him. the father got in jail for 2 years. and btw ur pp is gay, looks like bruno -_-
MariahB 0
hahah heck yes!
TheVariableX 0
Well I think it says something that he had to go into a stall to pee. I'm assumeing he peed.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Just wait till it gets hard
rofflewaffle 9
Hopefully you're just a grower, not a shower. At least you don't go around looking at other dudes' dicks like that kid.
UrTheWorstCharac 0
Lol. Touché!
felipe87 2
yea that kid must have been gay, straight guys do everything they can to keep from seeing another guys stuff.
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^ Not really. That sounds like a closet case, hahaha. I don't look at other guys' dicks, but I don't close my eyes when I go into a bathroom or lockerroom, or when I watch a movie that happens to have male nudity. Seeing a dick won't kill me or make me gay, lol.
phorcep 0
Protip: "not closing your eyes" and "staring at a guy's dick while he's pissing" aren't the same thing.
SabyTheDevil 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
too bad ur older then him, u could have slapped him and maybe make his wiener smaller
IMA_CoolCat 0
LOL^
Anteezy 7
Woah he broke the urinal rule, never look down. Kids these days...
glenzhao2 16
That kid will be gay I know it
TungstenLildog 10
He was going to say that no matter who was in there when he walked in.
pedosmurf 7
Not if the guy was black
xyadove 8
probably a dare
dickamaru 0
nope it's the retardation of that kid
cole86 0
do him in the ass
xavier1623 4
And scream DOES IT FEEL SMALL NOW?!
charlesnk7 0
lmao thats funny
xbassplayax 0
this comment makes it so much better
rickolette 0
just imagine the kids gay and he screams, "OH YESSSSSSS!!!!"
xavier1623 4
Mine? xD
xMegan96 0
HAHAHA
HereToRuinFun 16
That would be rape since it wouldn't be consensual. Wtf dude?
KebbyWebby 9
That’s some pedofile/rapist ass shit! You need your head checked out.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
The kid's just self-conscious. He didn't have the balls to whip it out for a full size comparison. My Rule: If you're going to make fun of someone's size, you have to prove yours is bigger first.
Kua_Mei 0
I didn't think the same applied to the prepubescent and early adolescent?
RKftw 0
it is a prank because most people can't stop peeing
BonyorBobby 4
Why was he looking at your dick anyway?! Beware, he may have got your wife to leave you so he could have you...
ckjacques53198 0
Getting crap from an emo teenager. He would have said that to anyone that was there. Kids need to fear a beat down.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
I must of missed the part where it says the kid is an emo.
hawty12345 0
wow..stop judging people like that. not every teenager is emo and you shouldnt just throw that out there...the FML never said the teenager was emo anyway.
bailey2 0
lol I took a pic of me in that same headband at rue21