Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
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Top comments
Batkid217 14
looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.
aylind 18
Well...there's always your fingers.
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Comments (120)
davek 36
If that's what it's like with a vibrator, you must be great fun in bed... ouch.
RealSuperSand 21
Dildon't.
JNOV 8
Bruh, "crippling OCD" that "forced" you to turn it on and off like a six year old? Just take responsibility for the fact that you were acting like a child. Everyone does it, even adults.
uhnevermind 24
It's 2014. You're about 70 years late for the "mental disorders don't exist" boat.
Isa_fml 20
**** off, you piece of trash troll.
Oh_bother44 11
I'm not OCD and as such cannot understand your compulsions exactly but IF the compulsion is just with the number 7- maybe turning the next one on and off seven times but not as rapidly... If you slow down the turning it on and off it may not break....
TheIronFez 13
Well, that's what you get for buying a facking *****.
Benmantha 31
Well, that's a buzzkiller.
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
use your fingers
landonyy 1
Anythings a ***** if you're brave enough
thatonedude55 8
How the hell does she deserve wasting money because her mental illness made her do a thing? People suck. Also, sorry for your blue balls.... ovaries, OP.
Einstein89 0
"Crippling" OCD? Is it? Is it REALLY crippling?
Fairyjoshy 13
Yes, yes it is.