Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
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Top comments
Batkid217 14
looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.
aylind 18
Well...there's always your fingers.
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Comments (120)
Zebediabolical 45
Did your OCD make you order seven of them?
Deku_Cutie 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry to break this to you, but you were already sad apparently...
MDoremis 38
Rude.
MRSwick2525 23
Just curious as to why you say she was apparently already sad. Since you seem to know how she is feeling, please tell me how you knew she was sad!!
pandalover69 26
She didn't say she was sad before she bought the vibrator. Buying a vibrator doesn't mean you're sad, it just means you're horny.
yosico22 16
Horny bitch.
THEDUDE1553566 24
Not good quality I guess
Selene1090 26
Talk about easily broken. I'd look into getting a better one and researching it before buying.
LostInTheZone11 29
Not so lucky 7.
martin8337 36
It's a jungle out there. Disorder and confusion everywhere. No one seems to care, but I do. Hey, who's in charge here?
Sora_McKain 36
People think I'm crazy because I worry all the time. If you paid attention you'd be worried too.
Urpoppy 21
Get a plug in version and some therapy.
skepijohnson 11
Sounds like some not so good vibrations
Twid 16
Isn't that just a "buzz" kill...