Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
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Top comments
Batkid217 14
looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.
aylind 18
Well...there's always your fingers.
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Comments (120)
Creed_Aprooved 12
Did you try to turn it off and on again?
Toller017 14
don't be to sad there are plenty of ways to **********
bigdog80 10
that toy is no toy lol
saizml 9
7 times? I can't stand odd numbers
kewpiesuicide 29
It's a pretty common problem with cheaper toys. If the batteries were in improperly, you could have shorted it out. Check and see if there is a manufactures warranty and next time go with a trusted and respected brand (Fun Factory, Lelo, WeVibe, Sensuelle).
xXBlakDayXx 17
"Now I'm sad"
TuneSyon 7
how does a vibrator affect ocd?
josace 9
This looks almost word for word of a few other FMLs I have read today if you replace what she bought with something else(such as a car and it's reclining chair)
MaterMortis 6
How is the OCD? OCD is a disorder where you want everything where it should be at all times it spuds more like you have turrets
Banterr 1
OCD can mean that you feel the need to perform certain rituals like turning lights on and off a certain amount of times and stuff like that because you feel like otherwise (if you don't do it) something bad will happen. It isn't just the compulsive need to be tidy, do your research bro
tristan4828 9
Wow shitty luck