Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
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Top comments
Batkid217 14
looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.
aylind 18
Well...there's always your fingers.
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Comments (120)
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Would you like to play with my Vape instead? You have to click it 5x to turn it on/off. Maybe that will satisfy your OCD.
horneyhic 15
I think we have the same vap
DoomSkuller 28
I don't know about that. Her saying she turned the toy on and off seven times makes it sound like her OCD is specific to the number seven. OCDs like this can sometimes be tied to superstition and most times OCDs in general are difficult to satisfy with anything other than what they're specific to.
enginsteve 17
Googling "Vape"
Exaspera 55
Write your phone # on bathroom walls and set your phone to vibrate!
shemademedoit 20
sadly they won't be calling at the time she needs it. it would be funny seeing her ****** answering the call
DoomSkuller 28
It would be more efficient to use the home phone to call her cell phone
Creed_Aprooved 12
"Yes hello this is Vigina speaking"
niallo 23
With fingers that fast, why do you need a vibrator at all?
udderbutter 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you have to write the fml 7 times
worldclassrager 41
Looks like you got a glitch...welcome to FML
worldclassrager 41
I have a form of OCD like that as well...I feel your pain...I would suggest maybe not a vibrator just a basic acrylic or glass one wouldn't be a horrible idea...
pandalover69 26
A glass *****?! Wtf, that sounds painful and just plain stupid to stick up there! They make rubber ones you know.
captainsmegma 12
Did it come with a warranty
kingnothing123x 11
Dinkleberg -_-
whitnayfortooh 29
this...this is gold..
shemademedoit 20
isn't it from fairy odd parents?
booze_n_bitches 37
Now you just own a *****. Nowhere near as much fun, sorry OP :(
Lexipants 21
I hope you were able to return it.
cg1992 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ew.
limabeans101029 21
What's 'ew'? Masturbation? Lol, don't act like you don't do it.