Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
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Comments (314)
heatherlk4 0
oh man that sucks.
etch_a_scetch 0
Not all Vibrators come with batteries, she might of taken ones out from the vemote or something else which have been used already quite a bit.
pedobearsstalker 0
today I was vibrating in some girls ****** and it smelled so bad I died
metalhead256 0
WTF #275 saying shit like that means you probly never Evan seen anybody nude don't lie to your self
look_its_me 0
WTF 276 grammar like that makes you look like a retard.
omg_thats_funny 0
#275 hilarious :)
starcraft2FTW 0
get lithium batteries they rock
iBiteRoses 22
I second that.
waffle3z 6
Not all vibrators come with batteries, but it seems that all women do.
strawberryy_fml 0
no way.. just your luck eh?
urmomluvsme 0
lol definitely not her luck, but seriously, either your friend must have used the vibrator a lot or you took a REALLY long time to ******.
nike1 0
That's true.
laneylovesu2 3
...and she was left disappointed again. Sad story:(
Horcruxer 0
Shii if she was in bed with me she wouldn't have even needed a vibrator
MrMassive 0
No ******* shit Sherlock.
Nev09 0
next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!
lawlfyl 0
lmao! awesome reference.
HELLO_KITTY904 0
R0FL i WANNA MAKE A MOVIE....OH YEA.....NICE
imago_fml 0
It might have been an awesome reference if he didn't do it wrong. He gave all the steps. Lame.
iluvsidney 0
do it
griffmo24 0
what's left (advice dog rules)
navalacademy2015 4
#269, Do you even know what you are talking about?
diki_fml 2
LOL
Associate 0
Get more batteries.
karmaSUCKS321453 0
or she could just get energizer batteries. if she could live with the "bunny that never stops."
awuh_man 0
that's hot
FBIWarning 0
jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?
Justice264 0
Same thing i was thinking
angeluv_2014 22
That's what I'm sayin'!!
ItIsMeSRC 7
If it takes her that long to ******, no wonder it's never happened with a guy!
wowfmlife 0
Your life's ruined because you didn't have an ******? Doesn't take much these days...
NikkiFlysKites 8
I think the whole idea of this FML was meant to be ironic. She'd never had an ****** with a man, and right before she almost reached her point with the vibrator, it died.
NotDave 0
How is that even remotely ironic...?
Iwannabetreo 11
Ehehehe.. life sucks
som_fml 0
...so? Don't know how to pleasure yourself, eh?