Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML
Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
Today, I broke my toe on a decorative statue I bought for our front yard. My husband warned me it took up too much space and was a hazard, and now I get to hear him say, "I told you so." FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling, "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML
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Top comments
lexiieeex3 32
I'm sorry, but who buys a garden gnome to "spice up their lawn"
Jason89 16
i bet that was SMASHING
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Comments (89)
Geckosrock99 33
Douchebag neighbors
JazzHandsFML 28
that neighbor is ******* fantastic
HarshD9619 34
That neighbor sounds like someone from FML
incoherentrmblr 22
Time to start a gnome war...
lexiieeex3 32
I'm sorry, but who buys a garden gnome to "spice up their lawn"
Neverafter 14
Maybe the same people who also buy those flamingos :D
jazman195 20
I almost bought a stripper gnome once. I definitely think that would have spiced things up.
Girlshotdown1 21
i like gnomes they are cute
ZombieSazza 34
People who like their garden and fancy buying a gnome? I mean, why not?
magickitten 26
It's the use of the words 'spice up' that doesn't sit right with me.....
Kobi159949 19
At least he has a sense of humour
kayj905 15
A terrible one
Jason89 16
i bet that was SMASHING
CBOokami 13
If it was a fountain gnome it'd be SPLASHING!
DetroitDov 35
If it was a cat gnome it would be SCRATCHING.
UserOfTheMind 24
If it was a Katniss Everdeen gnome it would be CATCHING... fire.
LittleBastard 20
#27 If you were a pun gnome, you would just get smashed against a brick wall, because you're terrible.
elcee1987 18
Yeah, the puns were okay until #27.
photographer49 22
#27 I think you tried too hard
dragonrider1959 18
Crashing!
ohSNAPyall 27
If it were a bandicoot gnome it would be CRASHING!
ohSNAPyall 27
If it were a Ryan Gosling gnome it would be DASHING!
ohSNAPyall 27
If it were an eyeball gnome it would be LASHING!
FlubbaBubba 12
Without the garden gnome, OP will be SHORT on decorations!
Dreamsorrow93 24
Maybe it was the gnome committing suicide because it to thought your yard sucked?
_Peppermint_ 34
Oh man, I haven't had an FML make me laugh so hard in a while. I'm sorry about your window, though!
X_KassidyRose_X 12
Lol, that sounds like something I would do.
xx000o 27
#8, Buy the gnome or through it though the window?
X_KassidyRose_X 12
Make all the puns
Desi_D123 27
Your neighbour is either the vandal or really good at coming up with witty puns in a short time, OP.
missambitious 21
I'm thinking it's the 1st one. They had easy access (OP wouldn't hear a car drive away) and just their reaction (like this incident is no big deal and it wasn't unexpected or out of the ordinary).
Steffi3 40
Your neighbour is having way too much fun with this. You sure he didn't throw it?
lolfood 24
I'm thinking that your neighbor might have been the one who threw it.
capnbzarr 43
Definitely.
ShowMeKay 20
Haha that would be pretty crazy though. Smash your neighbour's window just so you can make a bunch of puns about it lol