Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling, "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I moved into my first house and realised pretty quick that my estate agent lied to me about how great this neighbourhood was. I was in the house for 30 minutes when I heard the neighbours having a screaming domestic in their garden, then a brick flew over the fence and broke my eye socket. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
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Top comments
ColorOfSoul 19
Write her new address on a note attache to brick and throw it back.
gosh_mate 30
I will still file a report with the police, especially when there's a direct link to who could have done it. Damaging property is quite a violent act.
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Comments (49)
Anika_09 17
That sucks, OP. I hope things get better :)
PleaseStayChill 9
Legitimate sympathy? On the internet? AND it got upvoted? The end is near.
LilMissCanadian 22
^ The comment guaranteed likes
friedpwnadge 25
This is why guns were made.
Lalala579121 28
It's not legitimate on here. Pretty much every FML has at least one comment saying basically that exact thing.
ColorOfSoul 19
Write her new address on a note attache to brick and throw it back.
redbluegreen 41
If someone's going to throw a brick into OP's house, you don't know what other acts of violence they're willing to commit. Forwarding the previous owner's address could potentially put them in the hospital, or worse, the morgue.
geminijojo 10
Yesss!!!! Write hi Claire no longer lives here, so u MUST be asshole.
ColorOfSoul 19
It was a joke, besides, watching a brick you throw into a house flying back out and land on the floor is a scene just too funny in my imagination. I am going to quote joker now: "Why So Serious?"
SAGARCo 19
I think the better quote is "Now that's not funny." You know stuff's about to go down when he says that.
olpally 33
Claire... That *****...
Angeuh_fml 21
- **** you Claire !!! - I'm not Claire ... - **** you anyway !!!! *second brick*
higgysaurus 18
The Dunphys aren't very happy at all it seems, what a modern family
higgysaurus 18
The Dunphys aren't very happy at all it seems..
grandpeepa 14
write a note saying that Claire doesn't live there anymore and put it around the outside of your house and maybe on some telephone poles
Poehayden 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Was Claire your gf or the seller of the house?
OysterPearls 33
Context clues, man. Use them.
elektra2 16
#5 It's like your picture is accentuating the stupid comment you posted.
Lalala579121 28
16, He was too busy making that face to actually comprehend the FML.
gosh_mate 30
I will still file a report with the police, especially when there's a direct link to who could have done it. Damaging property is quite a violent act.
lexiieeex3 32
I'd have a long talk with Claire...
chinaski7628 32
Claire probably went into hiding....
Dave_Davington 34
There it is again. I swear, no matter what get posted on this site, there's always at least one person in the comments saying "have a talk about it".
syki 22
@23 Maybe because communication tends to help solve most interpersonal problems?
iAlissa 34
If she was so eager to get out, this guy make actually be super dangerous. I would go to the police. I hope you at least got a glimpse of him of his vehicle. (If needed, contact Claire)
hehe1996 15
Call the police, you don't want him doing something like this again.
Anti_Sora 31
What the **** did Claire do?
elektra2 16
She could have stolen the brick thrower's horse.
orsombre_fml 11
Who cares? No one has the right to damage property of somebody else.