Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML
Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML
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Top comments
ShinedownLuv 14
Yeah, I think he was B.Sing you
ladylilly25 20
Doesn't sound like a man to me.
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Comments (138)
hienzburgess 9
c'mon OP, you dont wanna be dating a poppa's wittle boy.
hienzburgess 9
why the **** is this thumbed down?! do you really want OP to be dating a poppa's wittle boy?! idiots.
IAmJad 18
I'm down voting you simply because you care THAT much about up votes and you threw a temper tantrum.
UnluckyGenius 21
He must be a life time member of the "Mild Ones" biker gang.
lickastick 27
So far I've seen 3 sponge bob related comments from you.. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
UnluckyGenius 21
I wait all day for FMLs with less than 20 comments to comment on, I earned this dang it!
titibug823 11
Dodged a bullet there... but hopefully soon he will realize that he is 22 and doesnt have to ask his dad's permission anymore
Nikkitaria 9
Well, at least he didn't say yes only to later invite his parents to your dates.
RoboCunnilingus 23
*Boy* of your dreams.
Rexington27 7
Awww. Daddy's little boy. Wait that doesn't right.
Mshrodes 13
Sound is the word you're looking for. And it would sound right if he weren't 22 and likely to be faking it just to get rid of OP (in which case he's just a jerk)
twinkiefeets 17
Sorry he's just making a call to his friends posing as his dad to get out of the date. He should just be a man and say he's not interested. You can't be mad at someone who's being honest with you.
strike2867 13
Maybe not in this situation, but I don't see at all why you can't be mad at someone for being honest.
brewmasterg 34
"Hey, I slept with your sister- but no wait you can't get mad; I'm just being honest!"
Sandsh8rk 36
Well I understand why people want to be loyal to their parents...but at 22 he should be able to make these decisions himself.
tiernang 21
Not related at all, but when you press the comment button and look on top (im on the app) is this REALLY the 20,824,090'th fml?
chillnhill 24
Clearly not the man of your dreams if he is that tied to his daddy... You likely just dodged a bullet there.