Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML
Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ShinedownLuv 14
Yeah, I think he was B.Sing you
ladylilly25 20
Doesn't sound like a man to me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
sykokitti 15
He is a genius, he came up with the perfect plan to get rid of a stalker for good... :-
rememberkids 14
unfortunately there are a lot of males who call themselves "men" but in reality, they aren't. there's more to being a man than having a dick and nuts.
logicalman 1
Actually, no. A man is simply a male human being. There's nothing else required. A brave educated gentleman is as much a man as an immature coward.
pumboc 23
#53, your nickname fails you here. 'Male' and 'man' are not synonymous. The former refers to one's sex and the latter to gender. In actual fact, sex is the biological or physical make-up and gender is the role or stereotype associated with the sex. Therefore, he is right when he suggests that many males (the physical) falsely claim to be men (the stereotype). See, you learn something new every day.
kuma32792 2
Not a man.
ethanszlez 14
maybe it was past his bedtime
ChrisPavs 17
He may have been Lieing to not reject you but instead pretend that he can't
Ray_of_midnight 23
He's not the man of your dreams if he's that immature.
woiz 11
this is what happens when u try to take a boy to the men's game
chinchilla417 12
Dear OP, That was the starting gun signaling you to run like a Kenyan. Sincerely, A Concerned Commentor and Kenyan
stirbnichtvormir 14
That's a sign that he probably wasnt the best choice in the first place.
Kateyez_26 13
Man? Or boy?