Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML
Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML
Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML
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Top comments
ShinedownLuv 14
Yeah, I think he was B.Sing you
ladylilly25 20
Doesn't sound like a man to me.
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Comments (138)
ShinedownLuv 14
Yeah, I think he was B.Sing you
taterrtots 25
whether he was BSing you or being serious, either way you're probably better off without him.
dramaelf 37
Yeah, everyone knows boys answer to their moms, not their dads.
Ian7890 23
#27 What if they don't have a mom...
GeniusInABottle 8
#28 What if they're Batman?
jacsoccerdude3 10
#32 What if they're Spider-Man?
TheCanucklehead 22
What if there moms Wonderwomen
Caitie_kid 8
Yuck. I dated a dude that was like this with his mom, he was almost 21 and had a curfew and a bedtime. Their relationship was down right creepy and weird as f*ck.... Trust me, you're SO much better without him if he was serious!
K410 18
Sooo you were dating Howard from Big Bang Theory? O.o
gun6slinger9 9
Gonna have to keep this in mind for next time lol easily makes you so unattractive you don't have to hurt their feelings
Solle 9
#52: she better not, Bernadette would have beaten her to a pulp.
Markus12 8
How so? He could be an awesome guy.. Just not interested in op... Humor is a Nice personality trait.
Zomg_Okay 27
74 - Yeah but if you aren't interested in someone, you don't make a joke out of turning them down. Just makes you look like an asshole.
Ian7890 23
It wasn't a joke, he was trying to let her down without hurting her feelings.
IAmJad 18
38- Killed it.
agzz21 6
Yeah because Howard's mom is both a woman and a man.
justmyswag 9
A daddy's boy at heart.
quontag 15
I don't think he actually called his dad.
webbface 25
Must suck to be a twenty two year old virgin.
Zimmington 21
Daddy's boy?.... Gay
depocadoll 15
Definitely sounds like a game he and his friends play to get out of going out with girls they don't want to see. He probably does it for his buddy, too. Sorry :/
kakarot2 11
right 22, because waiting for the special girl instead of whoring around is much better.
ladylilly25 20
Doesn't sound like a man to me.
SassieCat6 16
I think this is where the quote, "sometime your knight in shining armor is just an idiot in tinfoil," is applicable.
SMHsohard 22
Better that this happened before the man of your dreams turned into a nightmare.
tarantaran 4
Well, ****.
Incognito_1924 17
I don't think that's something his dad would be ok with either..
firefighter925 18
Next
Greenmarsh 31
Sorry sweetheart, but i've seen that line get used before by one of my mates.
TheMathMajor 26
Tell your mate that he's an ass
xFaust_fml 12
Well I kind of used it too... But it was out of desperation, to break up with this girl who didn't seem to understand that "this is not working", "we're done" and other "I'm breaking up with you"s meant that we were actually done... After a few weeks I didn't know what to do anymore, so I asked my dad to come and get rid of her. So he told her I wasn't allowed to date her. I was 21. So maybe OP is some kind of crazy stalker too...
annie_nk 23
If he wasn't faking it, would you really wanna be with someone on that short of a leash?
alonur 6
And if he was faking it? Would you still wanna be with him, OP?
VeganVampyre 27
Either way, doesn't look like she really gets the choice...
lickastick 27
Honestly be glad that didn't work out because in the future he may have called his dad to ask if he could have sex.
Blue_Black_fml 21
And after he gets the permission, he will call to ask for instructions..
webbface 25
Word because he is probably a virgin since he isn't allowed to date lol
thrAsHeRr9081 16
What is it with you about teens and virgins? Being a virgin at that age is perfectly acceptable, and I'm sorry if you feel differently.
iAmLauRawr 10
He could of possibly faked the call. If so, I wouldn't fret over a guy like him :/
Bryanb1306 13
*Could have.