Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
SaRah_In_LoVe 0
lmao my boyfriend says that too, but I know him well enough to know he's JOKING.
natural711 6
lmfao I love your boyfriend omg wow!!!
Justincolon22 15
Lmao home wrecker
evanpeer 0
I lol'd.
smedrick 0
There's a hell of a lot of humorous girlfriends on this site.
xrawrified 0
Also... a lot of angry ones. I just smiled 'cause it's something my boyfriend has told me several times. But I know if something had happened, he would be there for me. :P.
schoolsuck 8
I'd kill him and are you pregnant
fishertruck 0
Everyone knows the only way to humanely dispose of a pregnant woman is with rope,cement,and a large body of water.So fyl op your boyfriend is extremely perverse..definitively consider leaving him asap.
KamilleBlack 3
Hahhaha!! Ur BF is so funny! That's what I would do if my sister got pregnant xD
FFML_314 12
Thank you, Pendatik. I understand that he most likely meant it in a light hearted matter. I agree with people. I just know first hand that those kinds of things can be meant in all seriousness and losing a child...is devastating. I'm really not trying to fault you for your opinion, so don't think that. People shouldn't ask questions that have a potentially negative answer. I'm sorry if I came off as rude. It's a sensitive subject and I hold it very close to home. Abuse is scary and a lot of pregnant women have lost their children at the hands of a violent man.
RainbowBitch15 11
this made me laugh because my best friend told me that in 9th grade. I really miss her... if he was joking, that's funny. if he's serious, ouch and fyl.
StitchedBear 0
my damn comment won't post!
Justincolon22 15
Lmao