Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
xgetxbentx 13
I hope you punched him in the face and dumped him. Thats really ****** up...
ijenah 0
what a jerk!! dump him, you can do better than him :)
ijenah 0
what a jerk!! dump him, you can do better than him :)
Martin22_fml 0
:(
vikinggirl 0
I POSTED THIS AS A JOKKEE. Peopleee, chill i know he was only joking i totally understand that it would impact both our lives greatly and in no way am i ready for a child! im in year 12! it was just a random question and i wasn't expecting such a brutal reply but yes, it was funny what he replied because i know he wouldn't bail on me if it happened, we both know how serious the matter would be :)
dynky 3
you have an awesome boyfriend. i wish mine would react like that, rather than getting all "i don't suppose you'd want to keep it...?" every time my period is a bit late.
duerrs396 0
Every single person that thinks OP's boyfriend is serious including the OP herself is a dumbass... Get a sense of humor and then fall down some stairs.
Cinn_fml 23
The OP has actually said that she doesn't think he was serious.
chokeabitch 0
so you don't date attractive men? aww mann.
ch14 0
that's sad truly sad =(
chokeabitch 0
I think you need more therapy and medication.