Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
bachooka 5
i don't really think this is an fml. my now husband joked about that too, but I did end up getting pregnant. he was so excited when I did and we had two more right away afterwards, so ydi for trying to make him be cute when really you just freaked him out.
julie3841 11
Oh ok. I was expecting you to go on to tell us you're pregnant. Looks like you'll just have to be careful and if you guys are serious and you really want kids, try talking to him seriously or start thinking about leaving.
aback 5
I find it's always good to have these little talks before you decide to oops him into being a daddy.
Krowser 0
At least he has a sense of humor.
chuy92 0
wow that's fxcked up. I say, 'accidentally push' him down that flight of stairs :p
SeedlessMe 13
Damn, ya can't take a joke, eh? I woyud think that was a cute answer!- Jeez people, Chill!
jiminycriket 0
I really can't believe how many of you are taking a joke so seriously.
jiminycriket 0
I really can't believe how many of you are taking a joke so seriously.
like_its_ya_bday 0
if he's younger then 17 then ydi bc that scares the crap out of him. if not dump his bc that's kinda scary..
SeedlessMe 13
*would ......dammit