Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
crystaltwylyght 0
my parents actually instilled values in me when i was growing up, so i didnt have premarital sex, thus it was never a problem. abstinence never hurt anyone. get a hobby.
chokeabitch 0
premarital sex isn't bad. promiscuity is.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
you mean they indoctrinated you so that you believe stupid shit and everyone with half a brain laughs at you?
myrrhdyrrh 3
I love how everyone flips out over a joke.. calm the **** down...
hayoudumbass 0
ahahahahahahah he was jokin don't be a bish
xrawrified 0
Lol! My boyfriend would say the same thing. I joke about how I'd "have an accident" if I accidentally got pregnant too. But, truth is, I'm anti-abortion (for myself) and pro-choice for everyone else! :). It's all joking around and he knows this too. Plus, birth control is a good thing to have around.
Daelilian 3
This may be a joke... but... the true way to know if someone loves you is if he would love you regardless and if he would work things out with you in the end.
mightymart 5
thats the best answer I ever seen Heard! mwahahaha
chokeabitch 0
what would that accomplish? shes already giving birth in your hypothetical situation.
murfeez_law 2
HM....maybe you don't want to have kids with someone who's willing to murder your baby...
chokeabitch 0
you're an imbecile.
chokeabitch 0
it is absolutely something to joke about. joking. IS NOT SERIOUS.
chokeabitch 0
I hope the next person that tells you it isn't joking.