Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.
spidersilkx9 0
that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.
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Comments (339)
nerdsgetmehot 23
It's called a joke, OP. And did you really expect a favorable answer from a question like that? If I were your boyfriend, I'd likely be freaked and sarcastically answer with the same joke.
DrDiamond 0
did you find him some nice stairs to fall down from, after that comment?
Juvihaze 0
foolproof abortion
sweetTnt_fml 0
LmL!!! YDi for being SCHUPID!
KYLAsaysRAWR 0
don't worry, my ex told me he would be taking me to the abortion dr...I was like hell no ur not. then I found out I was pregnant about 6 hours later....we didn't go to get an abortion...I just left him cause I thought I'd have a miscarriage being with him......I did without being with him :( no I can't get pregnant until I find someone else....grrr
nerdsgetmehot 23
#82 You're 19 and you want to get pregnant?
Emrysa 1
Um. Wow.
chokeabitch 0
lucky him.
rampagexo 7
85 - My mother was impregnated at 17 for the first of three children. She is a kind, gentle woman with a good heart. She is modest and beautiful, and very well-mannered. She is also an amazing parent. It was normal to be impregnated at a young age at one point. The more you know? Acting as if there's something sinful about being pregnant at 19 is very rude as there are many reasons a woman can be pregnant, and judging only makes a person look ignorant. Maybe this person had a bad family experience or a loss and wanted to experience having her own family to make up for it?
misfitSuperStar 0
I would've said the same thing! What young kid WANTS to be a Dad? Geez....
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
good thing that was hypothetical. if you really were then it would be a fyl but since your not ydi for asking and atleast you can find a new boyfriend. dafp.
MamaC_fml 0
Well just remember vibrators won't want to push you down stairs... and you should now follow him down the stairs from now on, and if he tries to get behind you, grab the rail and scream "PLEASE DON'T PUSH ME (BF'S name), I LOVE YOU AND I SWEAR I'M NOT PREGNANT".
Chocolate_Chunk 2
how 'bout "PLEASE DON'T KILL MY BABY"? would make loads of fun in the mall
bloobelly 0
awe how cuuuuute. he's most definately a keeper<3
Emrysa 1
Awww how cuuute! She's going to try and get knocked up without being honest with him first! She's such a keeper.
amazingstickboy 0
YDI. You cant spring "what if I got pregnant" on a guy. It feels too much like a trap. Ask unfair questions, get smartass answers.