Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I got home with stomach pain and immediately did a 10 second long farting, splattering, spluttering shit into the toilet. Now I know the walls are thin in my flat, but I wasn’t expecting the hot guy next door to say to me through the wall, “Jesus, are you alright in there?” FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML
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Top comments
mandiepandie204 0
Move somewhere else, SOON.
takeapieandrun 9
Lol, have fun!
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Comments (157)
takeapieandrun 9
Lol, have fun!
andruha1123 5
put on loud music which will make your neighbor install better insulation :D
KingDingALing 9
OP- I just did that right now... :D
queencitystoner 0
could be worse, at least you didn't hear him taking a massive dump, and you better pray he's a quiet masturbator lol
PimpdaddyCJT 13
thats funny !!! :P
hannahluvsyou 0
fyl
allenrotstein 0
it's just the better felling ever.. to take a massive pee after holding up for hours..
beingloved 0
OP, make your neighbour realize the walls are thin & you can hear everything, by, I don't know.. telling him? Or just have loud sex. :D
zach5432 3
the man needed to go!
zerobahamut03 2
this isn't a fml op its funny. good luck with you're apartment!
TechnoTaco 0
At least it wasn't a solid! :D
flyingkoalas 0
at least your neighbor doesn't have loud akward sex upstairs the bed making rhythmic creaking sounds....
mandiepandie204 0
Move somewhere else, SOON.
10_4Franky 0
Yes, she should move. I wonder what she'll be hearing when he takes a shit.
bean_dip21 0
I found this funny because your neighbor finds taking a piss relaxing. I find it a waste of 30 seconds.
FFML_314 12
Pray that your neighbor isn't a lonely, creepy, old, fat, hairy, bald man with a snowballs chance of hell getting laid.
unfortunate_13 5
why? because the image of a normal person peeing isn't bad? nice fetish you have there!
FFML_314 12
*snowballs chance in hell of getting laid. Whoops How the hell does what I said, lead you to believe I have a fetish of any kind? Do not reply to my comments with your non-sense! Go back to your hole. You may come back out when you're able to comprehend. G'day!
Sanamach10 0
a hairy bald guy? a guy whos bald and has a hairy dick??????
unfortunate_13 5
FFML_314, if you don't want the neighbour to be a "a lonely, creepy, old, fat, hairy, bald man with a snowballs chance of hell getting laid", you indirectly say you wouldn't mind if it were a normal person.
FFML_314 12
OR a hairy chest.... We will just leave that one up to the imagination. No, what I was really trying to say, in a lot more words than necessary WAS "be glad you don't have to listen to him have sex"
unfortunate_13 5
well, if you can't stand comments like mine, you better be clear in your posts :)
FFML_314 12
aldfjalfjalkfjlfkjaf *is *is *is I meant is! Still, the point of my post is OBVIOUS! Get off my kool-aid, Lady Silhouette! Edit: On the contrary, I thoroughly enjoy a good banter with a stranger.
jay4who7 0
But he hates the hole : (
redbluegreen 41
Anna, I think you are mistaken. You WANT them to drink the kool-aid.
FFML_314 12
Yes, the kool-aid in this nice pitcher labeled "Don't drink me" It's idiot proof.
redbluegreen 41
So if I do drink it, will I shrink down until I'm small enough to go under the door?
FFML_314 12
Didn't I kill you? What the hell?
redbluegreen 41
Hey, about that... I'm a free bitch, baby.
catsareahmazing 0
My dicks huge.
FFML_314 12
No, it's not. You just have really small hands, so it looks big.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
4, you said hope he has no chance of getting laid, and then in 23 you say to be glad he's not having sex; I'm confused. And how do you know the neighbor isn't some perverted 80 year old pornstar or something?
FFML_314 12
You know I'm going to tell you a little story. One day Jimmy was walking past Mr. Jennings house, he heard a scream and was curious. He stopped and peeked in the window and saw Mr. Jennings shoot his wife in the chest. Jimmy was shocked at what he was seeing! He saw the man turn his head and thought for a second "Did he see me?" Jimmy ducked and started running. He knew in his heart, the wife was dead. The next day, he saw Mr. Jennings and his wife sitting on the swing together, arm and arm. He smiled and thought "How could I ever think someone would do that?" I hope that cleared up any confusion.
MexRomeo 0
I hate girl who talk like that... get off my kool aid? WTF are you black nope you're white!
FFML_314 12
White girls can't say Kool-Aid? You're racist.
WTFreversed 5
WTF is kook aid is that the prick jumping through walls saying " oh yeah" in family guy?
FFML_314 12
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That last comment made my day. Thank you! Yes, Pendatik I think we have found ourselves on unfamiliar ground. I'm going to suggest a fast escape, before things get out of control and we end up on a milk carton. *Runs out of the shed*
FFML_314 12
Thanks. You could have just run with me! I'm sad to say this, but unfortunately no matter how far or fast we run, the idiots will be all around us. *Cries in my alphabet soup*
unfortunate_13 5
surrounded by idiots? most posts on this FML come from you, darling :)
FFML_314 12
I don't think the boob above you is aware of the 700+ FML stories, filled with 100s of comments. Calling me darling makes me feel like a cheap ***** and I'm /not/ cheap. It is contagious. I feel my brain melting.
DocBastard 40
FFML, that last comment made me guffaw, and I don't do that too often. Thanks for that.
FFML_314 12
*Wipes hands* My job here is done. Who's coming with me?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Incidentally, my hose shoots Kool-Aid. Oooh yeaaaah! Anna, snowball's*. Or snowballs' *. >.<
d3adb3for3d3ath 0
That sucks!
danica45 7
haha, that dude had to take a pee!!
CACC_fml 0
get over this...
craphappened 4
Have a small chat with the neighbour through the walls.
Graawr 7
Lol. You should've check it first before you rented the apartment.
residentZERO 0
that would only work if he happens to take a leak while you're inspecting the place. most shithole apartments aren't visibly shitholes until a few days after living there. :( FYL op!
Bubbelz 25
Enjoy making love, ever!
NicoleMorganX3 0
hahaahahaha :/ yikes